My solution is cut both apples in half, and take two halves, because I am more equal than others.
this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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Some animals are more equal than others...
Line em up and cut a third off both apples in one go? Everyone gets 2/3? Seems simple right? Consider the core. I don't think it's possible if you consider the core. You have to kill one of your friends.
You have to kill one of your friends.
You have to kill one of your friends.
Choose which one of your friends to kill.
Reach for the knife before someone else does.
You have to kill one of your friends.
Rotate each apple 90 degrees so that core is parallel to the ground and perpendicular to the knife, now its split equally
If more than one person hates the stem part then yea it's murder time
The core isn't evenly distributed along the axis though, it's like a small thingy in the center. Definitely murder time
diagonals
Or you could sacrifice yourself, you murderous bastard.
But then I would be dead.
Cut both apples in half. One half for the blonde, one half for brownie, one half for the ginger, and the last half for the animals or something.
Last half for the painter of this picture.
:D
Just eat out the apples together, ignoring the knife. Just take a bite and pass the apple to the next person, repeating the process until there is just a core. Not very sanitary, but mission accomplished.
I get the apple with the leaf for solving the puzzle.
And you have one less rival for getting a girlfriend.
Is there a Bechdel test but for incel men?
If you have one guy draw the knife over a long surface and distance, the other two can use that one slicing motion to cut the apples any number of times.
ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!
ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!
Like shaving with an old razor blade.
I will be the cpt obv
1/3 1/3
<=======]==o
2/3 2/3
Ok but like how do you know it's 1/3 of the apple without any other tools.
What's funny is that you've actually stumbled onto an entire problem that's studied quite heavily. I remembered a Numberphile video about this. The problem is called "envy-free cake splitting". It's pretty straightforward. A split is envy-free if no one believes someone else got more than them. For three people this was figured out in 1960 and you can read about it here. It has been solved for N participants as well and you can read about the general problem here.
For two people, it's obvious. One splits and one chooses. The first person is incentivized to make it even because they don't know which they'll get.
I was going to give a summary of the process for three people but it's too much to explain succinctly. Just check the article I posted lol.
it is a magical long sword of apple slicing (+5 damage and THAC0 against apples, +1 otherwise)
Let’s not go too deep on this alright
Cut first, choose last. It's as fair as you can get when eyeballing it
Only works with two people. For three you use Selfridge-Conway procedure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfridge%E2%80%93Conway_procedure) which uses up to five cuts.
Kill one person?
If your stroke is good enough you don’t have to share the two apples with anyone.
Ah damn it's one of those single-use knives.
Only if you didn't bring extra knife ammo
That's why you get the knife subscription plan.
Don't give them any more ideas.
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Luigi says [ Removed by Reddit ]
Non-murder solution:
Place and hold the apples precisely on top of one another. (Make sure your fingers are not in the way.) From one side of the apple tower, go horizontally exactly two thirds of the way to the other side. At that position, cut vertically through both apples from top to bottom. You now have two pieces that are two thirds of an apple each, and two pieces that are one third each. The kid you like best will receive the end slices without the apple core in it.
More realistically, disregard the stupid premise and make as many cuts as you need.
Apple’s aren’t square so it’s not so easy to figure out where to cut that will give you a 1/3 - 2/3 split.
The knife looks long enough you could probably cut 1/3 of each apple while they are placed side by side, which might be easier and safer to cut than stacking the apples.
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Bold of you to assume I'm not going to go Voorhees on both of them, have an apple as desert and save the second apple for later.
Obviously, I'm not going to eat the other two people. Without cooking them. And with the apple cores, I can make a lovely sauce to go with
What I find particoularly annoying and interesting, is that most of those "silly/dumb" social network questions are engineered with at least 2, sometimes more layers, for the purpose of getting a reaction not really from the "dumb people" but also, possibly mostly, from the smartass that can't help point out something they think they noticed, incongruity and the likes, unaware that those are there on purpose to bait them in.
This case is a lot more blatant, possibly fake, but the "controversial" interpretation of stabbing one of the children is not an afterthoughts of the sick mind of us memers terminally online, it's probably the core reason the thing has been shared and worded that way.
I just hope my own reaction has not been 100% predicted.
Oh god, you reminded me of those "memes" that are just someone one Twitter getting simple math wrong. Reddit was full of that crap and it seems it hasn't quite reached Lemmy yet, but it might.
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