Every time I brush my teeth, they glow in the dark for the next 24 hours
this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
213 points (93.5% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
31712 readers
3994 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I GET IMMORTALITY!
You experience the passage of time as ever increasing in speed, and before long the universe has died, leaving you
immortal and sentient
alone in the cold, dead cosmos, for eternity.
Perhaps the speed-up is such that they still experience a normal lifespan. As time tends to infinity, the experience speed tends to infinity.
Most of eternity, to everyone else's view, OP is an inanimate but immortal being whose reflexes are infinitely slow and can't respond to anything.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Every single (non-human) animal is friendly to me.
So friendly that they constantly hit on you and try to get you to mate with them.
friendly to me.
In the biblical sense
Super speed of course!!
you gain super speed, but cognition remains the same. your day is a constant struggle to plan out a meticulous series of moves, otherwise you'll destroy your house trying to walk downstairs. this becomes particularly vexing for those middle-of-the-night strolls to the pisser. perhaps if you survive long enough you can adapt to the situation, but that seems unlikely.
You have to eat enough calories to keep up with it, and while your body is stronger, you'll still wear out and likely need all your joints replaced within a decade.
load more comments
(3 replies)
The ability to enter and bring objects/people into a space where time flows while it stops in the outside world. For a surface level example, you have a table in front of you and you could just by touching the table for example teleport to this place and proceed to play minecraft for an hour and then teleport back to the real world and continue from the same point. You could also store stuff there.
it is infested with transdimentional fleas
they are kinda ok, but make everything they touch slowly change colour to magenta