this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] Mwa@lemm.ee 6 points 51 minutes ago (1 children)

Controlling time to undue mistakes i have done in the past

[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 11 points 48 minutes ago

But only spelling or grammar mistakes.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 minute ago

infinite money

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 3 points 35 minutes ago (1 children)

being happy

I don't need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.

Alright, fun's over, let the monkey's paw curl.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 2 points 7 minutes ago

nausea, diarrhea, indigestion, loss of appetite, increased sweating, shaking or trembling, decreased appetite, inability to ejaculate, and decreased libido.

Oh and projectile vomiting if you miss a dose, messed up sleep if you take it to late in the day, falling asleep at your desk if you take it too early.

Brain jolts, anxiety, vomiting when you try to come back off it.

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/sertraline/side-effects-of-sertraline/

[–] NKBTN@feddit.uk 2 points 40 minutes ago (2 children)

The ability to turn lead into gold just by touching it and saying a short incantation.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 0 points 6 minutes ago

You can never remember the incantation

[–] SpiderShoeCult@sopuli.xyz 1 points 26 minutes ago

you now have tourette's and speak that incantation uncontrolably. the only medication for it is lead-based. lead is otherwise harmless to you.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 8 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Neural typical ignoramus is what I choose. I'd like to be able to ignore what's happening in my country and be happy like a bunch of these dumbassss

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 1 points 13 minutes ago

You fall into a right wing incel cult and get shot by the police after trying to kill a liberal politician.

[–] Artemis_Mystique@lemmy.ml 3 points 52 minutes ago

you notice peculiar signs that foretell great calamities but you can never make sense of it

[–] genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 hour ago (4 children)

I want to be just slightly above average in everything I do without needing training, but I can only achieve that level of slightly above average at whatever I do.

[–] Live_your_lives@lemmy.world 2 points 47 minutes ago

However, the keyword is average. Sometimes you are extraordinarily good, and sometimes extraordinarily bad, but on the whole the average is slightly above.

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[–] Pippipartner@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 hour ago (2 children)
[–] yyprum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 minutes ago

You can turn invisible but only parts that are alive, in essence, cells. Your nails, your hair, the food you've eaten, pee... All can be seen though.

[–] peetabix@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You can never sleep as your eyelids are also see through for you.

[–] clockworkrat@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Have you heard of curtains?

[–] BroccoLemuria@lemmy.world 2 points 38 minutes ago
[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Liquid metal shape shifting like an organic terminator or metal clayface

[–] Artemis_Mystique@lemmy.ml 1 points 51 minutes ago (1 children)

you can never hold a solid shape

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 3 points 46 minutes ago

How so exactly because that could completely counter shapeshifting as a concept and wouldn't make sense

[–] cryptix@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

I gets 1 trillion USD worth of gold bricks, clear of all legal requirements.

[–] genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Everyone knows where they are stored, piled up in your backyard, with no protective measures to stop them being stolen.

[–] cryptix@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

But you're the second person to replay :)

[–] genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 hour ago

First didn’t give your superpower a negative.

brb heading to (39.xxxx,95.xxxx) to snag some gold

[–] cryptix@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

And I found the loophole

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 4 points 1 hour ago (5 children)

I cant decide between Trans Magic and the power to be able to infinitely summon a device at no cost any time that will answer correctly and precisely any question i ask it for no price, it knowing what i mean and wanting to help me. Summoning it will erase the previous device, keeping the memory of the information obtained from it

[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Every device you summon or you transformed into will smell like farts.

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