All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are "OK?" and "that watch?"

Verbose disses only work in rap

Do you say shit like that because nobody can tell the difference between your watch and a cheap one?

Serious answer:

That's cool. What makes it special?

Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they're proud that they could afford it and even when they're being tone-deaf, there's no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they're stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you're the one judging them.

Cars (and watches) aren't so expensive that a middle-class person can't plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that's true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say "I really like the 2008 model." She couldn't argue with that.

Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W "Al-Qaida"

Big deal... This watch also costs more than my car.

Sounds like you got ripped off

"So?"

That's the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don't care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don't buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

"Okay?"

I am not a friend of clever comebacks. People who point these things out are pathetic and people who get triggered by that only slightly less so.

Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?

"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

I guess it's true, money can't buy taste.

Fun fact: Alec Baldwin's character was invented for the movie to provide exposition. The filmmakers didn't trust movie-going audiences to pick up the information from the three conversations that occur at the beginning of the play.

Do have some other investmentadvice I shouldn’t heed?

A new London bus costs around £300k, so whilst is plausible that the watch cost more than my 'car', it's a pretty stupid way of spending that amount of money...

What kind of dumbass would spend that much on a watch?

A shame, such a tasteless choice. If you had as much class as money, you'd have chosen something like a vintage 1960s submariner rather than a frivolous toy available on every high street in the world.

"Does it keep better time than my 15 dollar digital Casio? Is it sturdier? Will it last longer? Is it more comfortable? No? So you spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a less functional watch made out of precious essential materials just to try to impress people like me?"

Honestly though, if you want to piss watch people off, just say "Oh, it looks just like a regular watch, thanks for pointing it out".

If only you had learned to tell time.

My car was a present, any watch costs more than my car

Damn thats a cheap watch, is it Chinese too?

"Good for you. Have a cookie. My $20 Casio tells the time just as well."

“Ok”

"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

"How fast does it do 0-60?"

A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

It infuriates them lol

Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"

-or-

"Was it worth it?"

"People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth."

"Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources."

"Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much."

The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

"Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change."

But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others' power/approval and relate to them to assert that they're no different from you.

See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

So being rich is a fairly new thing to you? What are you gonna do when you get used to it?

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

"that's cute!"

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

Anyone who spends more on a watch than a car has poor money management. Fuck, what a waste. There's no way any watch is worth more than $1000 other than for clout which is stupid.

Sorry I'm not into bracelets

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

"Oh, you could only afford one watch?"