Ask Lemmy

My mom would always fuss that I'd drip water on the floor after a shower. After one such fussing, my dad took the time to actually give me advice on how to towel off properly, so as not to drip. (LPT: start from the top, work your way down)

Anyways, he was the more patient parent and would try and help you succeed.

My dad is... complicated, and I could tell a lot of insane stories. But the memory that is haunting me is how he said "we won't wait when war starts", in Russian. It made no sense. I overheard it as a part of some conversation with my mother (maybe other grown ups as well) when I was a kid and I asked what he meant and he claimed he didn't remember saying that. I believe him that he didn't remember. But it was odd, it's not something he would say. Neither he, nor my mom, nor their friends are political people talking about war, ever. It was said casually, but no one ever casually talked about war or politics over here. This was 25 years ago. I kept thinking about it for years and years again, trying to grasp what it meant, what it might have meant, and why it stuck with me so much, why I couldn't get it out of my head, why I couldn't let it go.

It was also painfully screaming in my head when Russia attacked Ukraine in 2022. It's like it was an eerie foreshadowing but I still don't know. I have so few memories of my childhood, why did this one stay? Why do I see and hear him say this? What did he mean with "we won't wait"? Did he mean we won't wait for the war to start or we won't wait when the war will have started? Both are possible interpretations in the Russian wording. What are we waiting for? Are we still waiting? What should we be doing?

I keep going back to this one stupid sentence and this memory is ringing in my ears. What does it want to tell me to do? I know I need to do something, I just can't figure out what.

My son is my step-son and his biological dad has hispanic and black ancestry. My dad once told me that "It's too bad he's black" meaning that it's too bad he's black as his life will be more difficult for him and he won't have as high of achievements due to this fact. Great, so you have just accepted that we have an unfair and imbalanced society yet continue to tell me that this country is too woke and everyone has an equal advantage and there is no such thing as racial injustice. No old man, you are a fucking racist piece of shit.

We haven't spoken for 3 years.

Him not being a part of my life for about 20 years. We've since reconciled to the point where we visit each other about twice a year and call every few months, but the relationship will always be a bit strained.

To this day I still can't tolerate the smell of cigarette smoke.

It killed him in the end, of course, but we'd lost contact for several years by then. I wouldn't be surprised if it kills me too, even though I haven't directly smoked a cigarette in my life; my lungs definitely accumulated enough crap over my childhood to kill several grown men; couldn't breathe properly until I was an adult.

I don't think he ever quite readjusted to civilian life after his time in World War II. He talked of it constantly, watched documentaries and war pictures.

"It's ok son. Don't listen to her. Your mother is fucking insane."

His fists.

I thought that my Dad always killed flies with extreme force, until I saw him releasing them outside from his fist.

I'll never forget being around 12 years old and hearing my dad address another adult by Mr+surname. It was Mr Palmer who organized the little league I grew up playing in and my dad coached. In school we were forced to address teachers and staff as Ms, Mrs or Mr but at that instance I realized treating others with respect is a choice

My father died when I was a baby

When I was lime 6 or 7 he told me that he broke a gay guy's nose because he hit on my dad at a rest stop bathroom.

Best advice my ol’ man ever gave me was “Always stand up for yourself, otherwise you might as well put a target on your forehead”.