this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
510 points (95.7% liked)

Greentext

6913 readers
1320 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 142 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm straight so anything that gets my dick hard is a woman.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 55 points 1 month ago

LGBTs hate this one simple trick !

[–] Alaik@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 month ago

Okay Yujiro.

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 117 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I would do the same for all my friends. And why not? Sexy time with friends should be more common, I dont see a reason not to, if its handled well.

The story is not even fake and gay, because is women on men intercourse >:3

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 108 points 1 month ago (1 children)

dont see a reason not to, if its handled well.

Big caveat there. The big problem is you don't really know how people will really handle things until afterwards.

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Fair point. So far I managed great on my end.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago

Ngl, I've had sex with female friends just because they were horny and wanted something uncomplicated from someone they knew would respect boundaries. Most often, that was going down on them, which was fine by me since I always found that to be fun. Sometimes they'd reciprocate, or return the favor later on. Sometimes not, and that was fine too.

If I was bi or gay, I'm fairly sure I'd at least be willing to give hand jobs to bros.

Not all the time, every time, but at that same level of occasional where if the need is strong, but opportunity absent, why not? Doesn't hurt anyone, and as long as everyone involved is on the same page it won't.

[–] gigachad@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

More like holesome

ba-dum tss

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sure why not. I like it when people are direkt with their questions :D

Just tell me if its more about sucking dick then friendship. Dont mind either, just need the clarity

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Both equally important. Actually will probably prioritise the friendship higher.

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Respectable answer. Is that a serious inquiry? Or just online talk?

Serious means DM, online talk means you dont need to further comment on the thread here

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Seriously interested in anyone up for friendship. This would be the 3rd or 4th time i come across this sort of thing on Lemmy, no one follows through. I make a chat app channel and no one joins. I'll DM you.

The dick sucking was all online speak, not interested in that at all. No one is going to be able to beat the skills and hotness of my wife....so I'm sorted there.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd be ok with it, but i don't know how to ask my partner "hey can I suck this other guys dick?" in a way that isn't insulting to them.

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Since Im polyamorous, thats not an issue for me or my partners, every one of us have done that at some point. Though for monoamorous people that is probably kind of insulting and problematic.

Yes even with exactly those words, which is a little funny :D

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dude, being poly sounds sick/dope!

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

It is!

Turns out that living without the fear of your own desires and emotions is pure freedom. If you are in monoamorus relationship and fall in love with a third person, thats a threat. For me right now the same situation is pure bliss. I get to love another human after all, that feels great!

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Its more work to respect everyone involved. Be cautious, ask for permission often, and say how you feel at every opportunity.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

How you doin’?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 107 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

Nobody treats me like a girl after sucking their dick... They just call me a fag and hand me $100. What the hell?

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you're getting a hundred bucks to suck dick, you're doing something right.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Most I ever paid for a blowjob is the one I got on credit and I’m still paying for today.

Let me tell you, even though I can’t get much action today because of the kids, she’s been worth every penny haha.

Of course I’m joking. I’m a stay at home dad. (Which interestingly autocompleted to “stay at home mom” and I had to delete it and try again). If anyone has paid it’s been her. I can assure you I’m not worth it. Don’t know why she puts up with me.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's funny how I think it's a dream job (I'm in between jobs and my SO is working) but also I think the whole stay at home mom is degrading. Too stereotypish I guess? I mean everyone do as they please if they can ofc!

[–] Szyler@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Call it "Home maker" and it's both gender neutral and more accurately stating it's more than just a parent without a job, because making a home is a full time job.

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

I felt like an idiot when I asked a friend of a friend what she did. She responded with "home maker" and I went straight to "Oh, so you design houses or decorate them?"

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago

How much is a Z jay?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago

I mean damn, I ain't gay, but if it's worth a hundred, I'm gonna try it

[–] mastod0n@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

"If I had $100 for every time I sucked dick I'd have $200. Which isn't much but it's weird it happened twice."

[–] MrDrProf@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

Have some more self esteem! You can get $120

[–] match@pawb.social 1 points 3 weeks ago

what kinks do you have set on your f-list

[–] Stillwater@sh.itjust.works 71 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Sucking dick makes the world go 'round

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Some days you’re getting sucked, other days you’re doing the sucking.

[–] Stillwater@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 month ago
[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

if only it were that easy

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Marilyn Manson said blowjobs were like handshakes in Hollywood. But I think he might be a rapist iirc

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

not oppisite enough, true and straight.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 28 points 1 month ago

60% of the time it works every time.

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Other girls would call her a pickme now

[–] railwhale@lemmy.nz 9 points 1 month ago

I believe the anime girl is Sayu Ogiwara from Higehiro