this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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[–] Fluid@aussie.zone 110 points 6 days ago

Newsflash! Every beer bottle can be put in sand quite easily already.

[–] MJKee9@lemmy.world 71 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Without a base, without a trace.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Hollow and made of glass? Don’t shove it in your ass.

Probably the only bottle you can use for sex is a champagne bottle. Since those don’t break as easily.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I wonder... What if you removed the wires holding the cork, inserted said cork end of the bottle, and shook the bottle mercilessly. How would the ER get to the cork from that far up?

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

I'm sure they can extract it from your chest cavity during your autopsy.

[–] ksigley@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Holy cow, this is great. Thank you. I will be stealing this handy little phrase.

[–] MJKee9@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I can't take credit for the phrase. On the podcast Jordan Jesse Go with Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorne, they celebrate Anal August. It's a month where they celebrate anal toy safety.

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[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Tie a string around the top and launch it into someone's ass with a spud cannon. Rectal harpoon.

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago

Then pull back with Scorpion line: Get over here!

[–] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 49 points 6 days ago (1 children)
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[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 41 points 6 days ago (24 children)

Why would you put your beer in the sand? It'll get hot quickly.

[–] pmk@lemmy.sdf.org 67 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You also put water in the sand. As the water evaporates, the beer will grow a small beer-tree with 6-7 small beers you can harvest.

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)
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[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The sand can be cold. (am I the only one who goes to the beach in winter?)

[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Yep you are

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[–] DrCake@lemmy.world 42 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Why would you want to put a bottle in the sand? Wouldn’t the sand just warm up the beer quicker?

[–] seaQueue@lemmy.world 52 points 6 days ago (2 children)

In case you don't want it in your ass?

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 29 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Why would you want to put a bottle in your ass? Wouldn’t your ass just warm up the beer quicker? Hmmm... although if I shove ice up their first...

[–] seaQueue@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Maybe the sand is hot? It's a situational decision.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 6 days ago

Stupid sexy sand.

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[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Yes, but I think the idea is that it won't tip.

edit: I'm more of a spirits guy, but I always thought rocking whiskey glasses were really cool. Apparently they were designed to house liquor or wine without spilling on a sailboat. I even have a decanter that goes with a similar tumbler set, though I have no idea where that is; still, always liked them. Obviously the sand temperature isn't an issue with them, though.

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[–] teije9@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 6 days ago (2 children)

fun fact: people often go to the er from 'falling' onto objects like beer bottles and then getting them stuck, a friend of mine once sent me a picture of a closet in the hospital she works at that was filled with the objects people had 'fallen on'

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 30 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Is that some kind of trophy room?? Why are they keeping them???

[–] adhocfungus@midwest.social 17 points 6 days ago

For the aroma.

[–] krawutzikaputzi@slrpnk.net 3 points 5 days ago

I guess so... We have a cabinet full of stuff people stuck up their urethra. They are cleaned and kept. I don't know why, maybe just for fun. And yeah it's fun to look at that.

[–] ComradePedro@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 days ago

Stuff like this used to start wars like fr

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Don't put glass bottles up your ass, they can break. PET bottles, preferrably filled with water if thin walled, are more recommended as a crude DIY solution, but still have their own issues, like lacking a base, and still can break.

[–] Chiarottide@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Whatever happened to putting a condom on produce? Cheap, infinite choice of shape and size and no sharp edges if it breaks

[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 7 points 5 days ago

A guy shoving a beer bottle up his ass is one of the things that precipitated the collapse of Yugoslavia

[–] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 days ago

No one talking about the fact that the label says "Cream Blindness"??

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

at least the sharp edges of the bottle cap could dig in and therefore function as a sort of a base

[–] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 4 points 5 days ago

Apparently I'm that guy, but I definitely think it would just tear about 20 neat little grooves in one's rectum, and not do jack shit to prevent it being "lost"

[–] Lebensmittel@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

At least it's a bottle and not a jar

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 14 points 6 days ago

Why else would the tip be ribbed

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Well too bad now I am definitely thinking about it.

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