this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2025
39 points (84.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

34017 readers
3414 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 16 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl 6 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

You're allowed to THINK whatever the hell you want.

The point is in keeping it to yourself an act civil.

[–] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 67 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No, it is not healthy and will go nowhere or could turn into an obsession in the worst case scenario. It is better to move on and find someone who is interested

[–] EponymousBosh@awful.systems 22 points 1 day ago

"Should you" as in "is it morally/ethically wrong?" No, it's not. "Should you" as in "is it a good idea?" No, it's a terrible idea. And I think you know that on some level.

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 42 points 2 days ago

Don't do that to yourself. You need to move on.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 39 points 2 days ago

As a pure act, I can't see that it causes any harm.

However, it will very likely lead to frustration, anger, and poor treatment of the person in question. Those things are bad.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago

No, once you know it's not going to happen you need to do what you can to let the idea go.

Holding into it is just tying an anchor to your happiness that will only get heavier.

I don't believe in the idea of "thought crimes" so morally you haven't done anything wrong. But its probably unhealthy to do that.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you can't help it you can't help it. But you should try and not do that because its a painful place to be mentally.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago

The bad place.

[–] big_slap@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

as everyone here has stated, gotta let it go. the good news is: 1 down, billions more to go! just have to get out there and meet new people that will respect the amount of effort you put into caring about them 🙂

good luck!

[–] Red_October@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

In what reality would that be a healthy thing to do?

No. I know it hurts, but you need to let go.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago

No, nothing helpful will come from nurturing that fantasy.

A relevant proverb I heard somewhere on a similar topic: You can't prevent a bird from flying over year head. But you absolutely can prevent it from building a nest in your hair.

[–] Kennystillalive@feddit.org 22 points 2 days ago

No, it will just hurt you in the end.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

As always, the dose makes the poison. An occasional fantasy won’t harm you, but an obsession is unhealthy and will make your life hell.

[–] Olkiss@lemmy.world 0 points 22 hours ago

No, it is not good. For the one who fantasizes that person (frustration, anger, jealousy, sadness) and then the other person (fear, mistrust). There is more than 8 billions people on earth. So, countless possibilities for connection, friendship, and love 😀