No Stupid Questions

OP, I do want to start a discussion about if it is real.

It is starting to feel like selective breeding being manipulative by AI for the wealthy and religious groups. Meanwhile, we keep debating gender wars and loneliness. It would not surprise me if this wasn't manufactured through propaganda and social media. Even ironically the 6ft, blue eyes, meme was either a call for men to do better, or for women to date higher status men.

Everything is more expensive which limits the working class. Having children is prohibitively expensive. It is of little surprise that there is an entire group of men that are not just lonely, but economically outside of purview, causing loneliness. There are also trends related to formal education that would support this narrative regarding men and women. Upward mobility has shown millenials are worse off than their parents too.

To my understanding even Gen. Z is not dating to a large degree. There is also a push for young men to join the trades and not pursue higher education. So if it is not generational, what other forces are at play?

Given the exaggerated idea of a loneliness epidemic, why don't we hear about the female loneliness epidemic? How are so many men "failing" at talking to women. It's not an epidemic, it's manufactured on purpose. I also belive dating apps are being used in this campaign as well, either for profit, or more so, strict social engineering.

Tldr: I don't blame men or women, but I do explore the impact of AI and social engineering applied against the working class.

A lot of people can't see things from any perspective beyond their own limited worldview. If they don't experience a problem, it doesn't exist or it's not that bad and everyone should focus on their problems instead or if they are experiencing something it must be happening to everyone. I think this is causing a lot of the conflict around this issue. There is also the fact that a lot of the men complaining about this issue come at it not so much as "I'm lonely" but as "I'm not getting laid". Which loses them a lot of sympathy.

Men, by and large, create toxicity within their own circles. Male culture has a lot of issues and a lot of unrealistic expectations are put in men in US society. Some external, but the majority come from inside. The whole alpha male culture bullshit that permeantes it. There's a lot, and I mean a LOT of good that can come from healthy male culture. But right now it's like men have a branding issue where the loudest among them are also the worst (the Andrew Tates of the world).

Being a man is tricky. Full grown males can be physically dangerous and I think there is a subtle undercurrent of worry with all men they may be dealing with a hostile moron, or a worry someone may try to assert dominance. Men are organically closed off past a certain age because of this.

Men also experience allot of these weird power dynamics growing up. Both men and women kind of seek to control and bully youger boys and men until they come into their own.....and suddenly they are grown and terrifying if some respects and everyone magically backs the f*** off

I kind of assume it's the juxtaposition of "I as a white man have immense social privilege" with "I can't get anyone to play with me". Like, other people are worried about being abducted on the street and you're sad you can't play basketball with your bros?

The sadness of loneliness can be real but in contrast to other things it can feel like it needs to be triaged into a lower priority. And then some men lose their shit over that, which makes people take them less seriously.

On a related note, I wish we would acknowledge that men socialize different and that guys doing stuff together is therapeutic. Ruminating on emotions can have a negative effect in men, while work therapy can be much effective that talk therapy.

I think part of it also depends on were you live. Just as a personal experience I live in a very rural part of northern Nevada, I’m born a raised here. The population is about 4k and honestly I would say 90% of the population are hardcore conservatives. Even as a kid I knew that I didn’t fit in with anyone else. I would usually just keep to myself all throughout school and even now as a 42 year old man I barely speak to anyone. It is lonely but the alternative is a no go for me especially now with politics being such a big part of peoples identity.

I think it has to do with the death of 3rd spaces which used to be an outlet for socialization. But as a man, I'm also not lonely. I have friends and acquaintances and I get to go outside sometimes.

I have no idea but thought I'd throw out that, as a 58yr old cis white guy I've never been lonely in my life, i have literally no idea what that's like and don't get involved in hypotheses about it all because I have nothing to bring to the debate. I do find human behaviour interesting (and mostly bizzare) though.

The more time I spend with people the more I crave being alone but that's a different thing.

I now live on the edge of a tiny village in the middle of no where Australia and lived in a small cottage off grid in the bush for 10 years previously bit alos loved in an apartment in the sky in a largish city.

One thing I noticed, I found the car free existence ina city bought me into contact with people all the time, even walking you'd see people people and say hello. Stop at a crossing and have a small conversation occasionally etc. i even said hello to women and was never called a pervert ;)

Can we please leave gender war slop back at the old site please?

I've seen three sides to it.

Side 1: "boo hoo nobody will fuck me because I don't think other people should have rights"

Side 2: not having strong friendships/relationships because our society is built around capitalism, cars, and social media (this obviously applies across genders, this side therefore is a generalized loneliness epidemic, not a male gendered one)

Side 3: men get socially punished for being vulnerable

In my mind only the second & third side is worth listening to.

Who says this? I am not a cis-het man and have not heard the criticism. I thought it was a known thing? Are you literally hearing it doesn't exist, or is it more like they need to suck it up and/or that they are losers that need to go outside?

If it's the second, that's sexism. That's where it comes from. Illogical ideas about men. Believe it or not, we have not overcome that yet. People have very twisted ideas about how men and women should behave and feel.

I think there is definitely a male loneliness epidemic but I think there is also an equally bad female loneliness epidemic that nobody talks about enough