So we have Hot Take Thursday. Fuckoff Friday and now introducing and taking submissions for Sasspants Saturday.

I'll go first.

The other night, did a bunch of gyoza as all the fam were together (4 plus bro's new wife). no biggie easy stuff. There's a custom here that we all say 'hey thanks that was nice' even if it wasn't. That didn't happen.

Anyway they're addicticted to their phones which I find rude in a social setting. You're mid convo and they'll just whip it out and browse random shit (so not responding to anything).

Anyway bro's wife eats the last gyoza and the person who does that in my rulebook always should ask 'anyone want that'? doesn't, then heads to the couch to browse whatever shit that was on her phone instead of conversing.

So my parting comment when they were leaving was 'well I'm glad you found the gyoza interesting'.

That is my saturday sasspant.

Busted!

Party time. By which I mean I'm dusting off the dvd player and the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice, and I'm snuggling in with a blanket and a cat.

Finished the skirt on my new xmas outfit. Now the top and the jacket still to do. Happy with the result, especially as the botch up of the pleats at the back won't be seen under the jacket (I hope). Everything else has worked out just fine. This is my first attempt in many years at pattern drafting.

Great news everyone, Jeff Bezos ex wife just emailed to say my email address has been randomly chosen and that she wants to give me 1.5 million US dollars! Woo Hoo, I'm rich!

Pro tip: These are some of my Xmas tree lights rolled into what’s called a speed-ball. A Vietnam war veteran taught me this method. They used to roll the wiring for claymore mines like this to expedite a hasty ambush.

It’s hard to explain but you loosely wrap the entire wire around the end you want to come out first and just leave the end hanging out of the ball. It pulls out perfectly every single time with no hang ups or knots.

It’s a bit counterintuitive but it works without fail every time.

How could it be 16° today, 20° tomorrow and 30° on Monday? Like there's not much foreplay just straight into the good stuff. Then it's over by Wednesday.

I've forgotten what it feels like to be offered help. Since moving to my new place (and breaking my hand), people have offered to make me food, move a bed etc etc which I never got at my previous places 😭 (3 years in Australia!!)

And I'm not generally good at accepting help because I don't want to burden others. For ex my housemates bf asked me to join him for badminton and I told him I sadly couldn't...and then he offered to help with anything! Jeez the bar is so low for me when it comes to people.

First expedition to the can return machine. Got enough back to almost pay for a big sack of cat litter. Impressed with the speed of the thing!

Jaysus! A car going through the roundabout at my street corner has just knocked my neighbour's ancient bmw into the tree on my nature strip. Police on their way. Hard to tell if anyone's hurt - so much yelling.
EDIT: looks like no one's hurt.
Looks like I won't be mowing the nature strip this weekend.

This year’s theme turned out pretty good

I tried to get cash out with a purchase at woollies for the first time with a new card - debit Mastercard. It failed 3 times, I tried credit and savings- no go. I gave up and just tapped for the grocery purchase and left.

Called the bank to ask wtf and apparently I’m supposed to select “cheque”. Wtf, it’s not a cheque account and I have no cheque book.

I have always had bad attention span and as a result I could never get into reading. You put me in front of a tv, I'll watch it for hours but I really struggle to read books and I want to now make it a habit to read a bit everyday. What's a good target to set? How do I stick to it?

I should be taking this opportunity to do the tasks that are more difficult with kitty around but am still really not feeling good physically or mentally. Sitting around pressuring myself about a hobby that should be fun, putting myself through the wringer in the hope that doing it will help me cope with the rest of life. Because in my current state this hobby is the most do-able.

I'm feeling guilty about Melbcat. It feels like my bad health is letting her down and despite all my efforts I'm just having to wait for answers or help while watching it deteriorate.

Fkn ell. Another injury. Saw my physio for my broken hand today and he feels it could be a grade 2 ligament tear (some ligament near my thumb) and sent me off for an x-ray. Why does this happen so often only when I start having some peace in life. Every time I pick up a physical activity I end up getting fucked 10 ways to Sunday.

Estimated recovery time is 4-6 weeks but it depends on the x-ray. If it's an avulsion fracture, well, that'll be 4-6 weeks more 🙂

I bought birdseed so Gibson can have more entertainment whilst sitting in the window.

Was not expecting the insane noise from birds lol

If anyone is finding it tough to feed yourself or your family I have posted a link to the Salvos cookbook on !foodaustralia@aussie.zone. It's called Meals To Make Ends Meet.

I just scored a great plant pot off someone's hard rubbish, and it came with a free arm workout. 💪 It started off feeling pretty light, but I swear that thing got heavier as I walked.

Just finished watching Les Miserables, the 2019 movie about the French hood kids... fucking jangled now... christ. A very good film but not the best before bed. Really conveys that reality of never feeling safe

Melbourne weather is by no means benevolent.

No idea what my brain is doing. Local street ‘book’ library put a bunch of stuff up. I dropped off some, took less than I wanted, but still feel like I did something wrong. Social panic all over your lino

Man, today's just taken a turn for the worse after a thankfully good run over the last 7-10 days or so, so down and depressed like a switch flipped and everything automatically has been filtered through a negative lens. Probably because my period's due soon. Stupid bullshit reproductive system I don't want or need....

I'm glad I forced myself to go outside to get some essential bits even in the rain, and grateful I have no problems getting easy comfort food... fancy pasta, fancy pasta sauce, vegan mince, and now I'm watching some cheesy dumb movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt being a boringly hot online guitar teacher. Just blanking out my brain....

e: and now it's turned into feeling sick - headache, light sensitivity, feeling the signs of a cold coming on. Fark this shit. Gonna drink up some warm liquid and bed down.

I should be feeling accomplished cos I got some technical shit sorted with my phone (running rooted android is almost ridiculous now), but nup

On reflection.. scootering to DFO South wasn't my best decision-making.

Did the adult thing and booked the car in for a little service before the holidays start and I'm doing lots of big trips. Got quoted $400 for the whole thing, but everyone knows that's never the end figure. Also, know they are going to say the shocks and suspension need doing, but it has to wait because it's having a face lift soon so I'd rather do it then with its updated weight.

She's a bit moist! Guess it'll be indoors activities for me today 😪

Seeing recent news stories about the Parthenon Marbles I have realised I must have been quite young when I heard about these sculptures, because the mental image I have always had of them was of a bunch of giant spheres - literally sculptures of marbles, rather than sculptures made from marble 🤣