Boss, I'm drowning in pussy, hope you understand I can't make it in

Chonky with a chance of legs falling asleep.

You don’t. I don’t make the rules.

Yup, I have the same problem with my dog. As soon as I wake up, suddenly he wants to crawl under the covers with me

You're already working, as the cats' bed for the day.

My cats will immediately dart to where I feed them if I so much as twitch in the morning. I also have a white devil who refuses to let me sleep in unless he is fed.

You dont.