It's bold of Anon to assume that the crows are not earning the money legitimately.
That's racist.
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
813 points (99.8% liked)
Greentext
7139 readers
613 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Give them bird seed instead
Anón when an old lady shows up to feed the crows:
That's just one distribution method of the mint. They find dollars go through more hands on average if they are given to crows by this man's lake. He should not feel guilty for stimulating my economy.
Murder for hire
My favorite emo band
$20 for bread crumbs?! These crows must be living in the USA.
😂 the allegory
if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation where you're the sugar daddy for a murder of crows, get them some nice peanuts and sunflower seeds instead! bread isn't good for birds!
Seed me daddy! I don't want bread.
OwO
load more comments
(1 replies)
Ehh. You're more of a fence than a sugar daddy. You move stolen loot for a cut.
Also, one assumes you're not fucking them.
Bold to assume
load more comments
(2 replies)
They have the money but probably aren’t allowed in the stores to buy it themselves.
It’s either
1.) Facilitating the financial self-sufficiency of local avian wildlife or
2.) The bird equivalent of buying alcohol for your kid cousins who are standing outside the liquor store.
Both of which are rad
I want my own money ~~stealing~~ finding murder of crows.
I've been feeding roasted (and unsalted) peanuts to my local crows for three years now. Those ungrateful bastards haven't given me shit in return. One time I thought they had given me some little seeds and berries, but I realized they had just puked those up to make room for the peanuts.
Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
I knew a guy years ago who managed to start trading with the crows in our neighborhood by having a table with two sections, one with bird snackies, the other empty (I think he may have put some foil there at one point?) so they'd have a place to put their payment.
The always got little plastic things, bits of mylar, twistie ties and what not.
Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
Lol I get enough abuse from my neighbors for feeding the crows as it is. If I put out a crow table they're going to sic ICE on me.
Start messing with the crows while dressed as ICE, then when they do show up the crows will know what to do.
There she is now officer! The crow lady!!
ungrateful bastards
You know maybe if you have them better nuts than peanut they'd be more appreciative. Also cold hard cash.
What kind of nuts should I give them? Deez?
The photo is of a raven, not a crow. That said, exchanges of this sort with corvids has always been a bucket list item of mine.
What is the difference between a raven and a crow? One major difference is that ravens have 3 pinion feathers on each wing, whereas crows only have two.
So its really just a difference of a pinion
Goddamnit. Sitting here ready to subscribe to crow facts and you got me with a freakin pinion joke.
Well done.
Apparently, ravens are so huge that if you see one you will not be in doubt that it can't be a crow. At least that's what I've been told.
True in Europe and the US, but not everywhere. Corvids are a hugely successful animal class, and there are related species all over the world locally called crows and ravens. Some places the local species called ravens are bigger. Other places the local species called crows are bigger.
Raven at the Tower of London. They are big, with massive beaks.
TBF even crows are a lot bigger than what I always thought crows were. I've seen them up close since I've been feeding my local murder peanuts, and these guys are the size of roaster chickens.
The guy that told me this lives close by, and we have plenty of crows here. His way of saying it made it clear that the "chicken-sized" crows we have around here are small compared to a raven.
This is how it was explained to me by a very elderly, birdwatching family member... If you ever go "whoa, that's a really big crow," you're probably wrong
Yup. The few I met at Yellowstone were approaching small eagle size.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Here's the thing...
load more comments
(4 replies)
I kinda wish all the stray/feral cats I've befriended would start coughing up some cash once in awhile instead of dead mice and hairballs for me.
Bread should not be fed to birds.
Sauce: https://www.birdsandblooms.com/birding/attracting-birds/feeding-birds/can-birds-eat-bread/
What about Ezekiel bread? (Made from legumes, not grains)
Buy them some unsalted peanuts or walnuts. They will worship you as the god you are.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Florida man arrested after training crows to steal the declaration of independence for him.
view more: next ›