The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Locking up corrupt Presidents for financial crimes sets ‘a terrible precedent’, warns President with 34 felony convictions for financial crime (newsthump.com)

submitted 1 week ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Donald Trump has condemned France’s decision to jail former President Nicolas Sarkozy, describing it as “radical Marxism of the worst kind, almost as bad as letting poor people have healthcare.”

The US President, himself freshly branded a convicted felon, insisted that imprisoning leaders for financial crimes was “totally un-American” and a “sad, rigged, disgusting witch hunt, probably run by Hillary, Obama, and a wind turbine.”

“This is the sort of woke socialist madness you’d expect from France,” Trump told reporters at a press conference where they had to sign a waiver confirming they would not ask questions about his 34 criminal convictions.

“Jailing a president for financial crime is terrible, folks. Just terrible. Unless it’s Biden, in which case, orange jumpsuit, solitary confinement, and no ice cream for life.” [...]

Archived: https://web.archive.org/web/20250926111439/https://newsthump.com/2025/09/26/locking-up-corrupt-presidents-for-financial-crimes-sets-a-terrible-precedent-warns-president-with-34-felony-convictions-for-financial-crime/

Context: Reuters: Former French President Sarkozy handed 5-year jail term in stunning downfall

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[–] selkiesidhe@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 days ago

Not locking up anyone who committed crimes is a terrible precedent... Or in this case a terrible president.

No one should get out of paying for what they did.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Also an adjudicated rapist.

[–] Binturong@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yes, that nasty 'terrible (for me) precedent' we should ALL be concerned about...

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

What a load of self-serving crap. Bu then again, he did get in trouble for self-serving from a charity, so more trash into the dumpster fire.

[–] Beryl@jlai.lu 2 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Dementia Don could actually say all of that and I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

He wouldn't be able to say "solitary confinement." He'd call it "the white room with no windows, and the jacket, with the arms tucked in, can't move 'em"

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

It would surprise me; it's a coherent sentence.

[–] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

I find more and more difficult to differentiate c/the onion and c/nottheonion

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 2 points 6 days ago

I always check the community before upvoting these days.

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 week ago

That’s supposed to be satire?

[–] pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh. I swallowed the Onion whole on this one.

That just sounds like something any of them would shamelessly cram into one of their speeches.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The only reason I know it's satire is I saw the community name first. I still don't believe it's not real.

[–] incompetent@programming.dev 1 points 6 days ago

I was just thinking the same thing.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 7 points 1 week ago

Nation’s stray dogs call for increased wino-vomit production

[–] Tronn4@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Guillotine it is