OP didn't mention the AGONIZING itch you get from the skin rubbing. Make sure to use some powder or some shit. Also it grows back in a week and takes so much time.
Just get a bidet.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
505 points (97.2% liked)
Funny
12032 readers
2398 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Trick is to NOT trim it down to perfect clean shaven. Leave some small tiny little hairs. It won't itch. Been doing that exact thing myself but I'm not willing to prove it.
YMMV if your crack hair is harder than mine.
And if you work out, the sweat just makes it all slidey back there ++ungood.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Water people. Just fucking wash your ass, it's hygienic and it feels nice too. Use a bidet, or just sit on the fucking bathroom sink (provided it's installed on the floor, and not the wall). It's amazing how poor ass hygine is for a nation that keeps going on about "eating ass".
just sit on the fucking bathroom sink
Well now everyone at work is looking at me funny.
They said "bathroom" not "break room".
load more comments
(1 replies)
..., and it feels nice too.
The nation fears that it might feel nice.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Wait till he finds out what it feels like growing back in
On the other hand, your ass has no secrets now. Every fart is an announcement. You took the muffler away.
Dude my superpower is that diarrhea comes out as filtered drinking water.
How can I delete someone else's post?
First person I ever followed here
Nevermind I don't know how to follow peolle
Nikls: “Stop, you fiend!” Spez: “you’ll never stop me!” Nikls: -unzips, bends over…. Spez: O_O
To any Americans who are bidet curious or even enthusiasts, I'd highly recommend this wand style bidet: https://rinseworks.com/shop/aquaus-360-hand-held-bidet-sprayer-for-toilet/
Personally, I find fancy features, like heat, to be superfluous. Seats or seat-mounted bidets are inevitably a pain in the ass to clean. This wand has a nice long hose. Not only can it clean your ass, but it can also help you to clean your bathroom. It should last a lifetime. And, of course, installation is a breeze not requiring electricity. If you are afraid of the cold, rest assured you will adapt. It will zap you awake.
If you are afraid of the cold
I'm glad you mentioned this is for Americans because here in Canada calling the winter water "cold" is like saying the sun is "hot". I can handle the cold water on my skin but shooting it directly at my butthole is not happening.
The heated seats are really useful during the winter, though. And warm/hot water can often be better at "rinsing" solid material than cold water. I've noticed that it takes longer to feel fully clean with a non-electric bidet than an electric one. It's like trying to rinse dishes with cold water vs rinsing with scalding hot water. One will get the job done much faster.
pain in the ass
You’re holding it wrong.
It might be overkill, but I'll keep my overpriced bidet with heated water/seat. Cleaning is not that bad, I just do it the same time I clean the bowl.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(5 replies)
What is this person's diet like? I mean feces is supposed to be a somewhat solid log, not a splattery mess. I guess Cheetos and Mountain Dew three times a day does that?
load more comments
(5 replies)
A bottle of water. Wash yourself back there. Yes, like properly with your hand, like what you do in the shower. A lot more hygienic.
No, it's not "disgusting" doing that. You go back there with toilet paper anyway. You think shit moisture doesn't get on your hand when using toilet paper?
I tend to just hop in the shower for a sec.
But all of that is only really an option at home, anywhere else it's eternal wiping.
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›