this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I'm a girl. I'm not interested in Haskell, that's too frigging endofunctiorific. Erlang! That's what all the cool guys are doing.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 3 hours ago

What about going an extra step into Elixir?

[–] bestelbus22@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago

Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another recreational programming session with who?

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 42 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

No mom, I'm gonna BE a girl for Christmas. puts on programming socks

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 15 points 17 hours ago

I don't think "programmer" fully captures the reality of being an emacs-based programmer.

[–] mudkip@lemdro.id 0 points 7 hours ago

Well, JSON is an easy format to parse. The spec can fit onto one page.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

This kind of text hits differently when you're a lesbian.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 11 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Wouldn’t it hit the same as it would a straight male?

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

POV: Not all moms are accepting of their daughters being into girls.

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 32 points 1 day ago (4 children)

There are far more male programmers... As a programmer, be gay or stay alone... Choose!

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 20 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Can programmers only be with other programmers or am I missing something?

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 6 points 15 hours ago

But you kind of have to leave the house for that... I mean... We talk about programmers....

/s

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"JSON parser 100% from scratch in Haskell in 110 lines" doesn't get you horny? I guess some people are just wired differently.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I’m a programmer myself but my wife isn’t a programmer, that was my motivation for questioning.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Don't worry. I mean nothing but humour by it. I myself am married to a physicist who takes absolutely no interest whatsoever in programming, but can talk happily for ages about something weird they found.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Oh that explains why my wife is gay

[–] mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If she was around the same cs students as me then yeah

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

She sleeps with men, that's pretty gay

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Think you forgot to check their username before commenting that haha

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

There are a lot of things she does but that aint one of them

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There are those who transition, so a significant chunk of that male programmer population is "male" as in quotation marks, only that some transition earlier than others. Does not guarantee that you can get the transgender autistic puppygirl (or other variations) of your dreams, since many of them are lesbians.

But also feel free to look outside your field for a partner. It's okay to date an artist as a programmer.

[–] rucksack@feddit.org 7 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I think programmer should be seen as a gender itself.

I'm currently transitioning myself, already have a homeserver and a Linux PC, can't wait to be a real programmer.

[–] shoki@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

and gender confirmation would not be getting called sir/ma'am at the starbucks but people asking you for IT help?

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[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 21 hours ago

I detransitioned from being a programmer and all I have is depression since, maybe I should retransission into being a programmer

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[–] magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 76 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Jokes on her, I've transitioned since last Christmas.

[–] Fisherswamp@programming.dev 75 points 1 day ago

You can still bring a girl though

[–] chellomere@lemmy.world 55 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I am the girl! Hmm, but maybe I'll bring another one too? 🤔

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 72 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Who needs a girl when you have monads to keep you warm?

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 day ago

Or become a girl with gonads

[–] balsoft@lemmy.ml 94 points 1 day ago (14 children)

You gotta admit though, Haskell is crazy good for parsing and marshaling data

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

He won't be done debugging her by then. She'll be ready for beta testing next year.

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