this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 47 points 2 years ago
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

God just min maxed tortoises. High CON (aka HP, defense), but low DEX (aka speed, evasion).

We at least have high INT, WIS stats relatively speaking.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And now we're the squishy casters who have to study and invent concepts like "credit scores" while tortoises just happily munch leaves and chill all day.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You have to admit that casting the "ak47" spell is quite overpowered

[–] Rhaedas@kbin.social 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Or the "emit CO2" AOE spell.

[–] ame@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 3 points 2 years ago

A lot of entities know this spell actually, we just got a little too good at exploiting it

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Well, it's effective, but the cast time is insane and the AOE is so big that it ends up harming everyone on server.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Casting “getting up from laying on back” seems pretty fair though.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

"For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons."

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Immortal jellyfish: "Am I a joke to you?"

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago

And creepy sharks

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 years ago

Somewhere around 1 in 1,000-10,000 turtles live to adulthood. And those that survive live 150 years to remember everything they've seen... like their newborn siblings being eaten in front of them by predators.

So maybe God really fucking hates turtles.

[–] Raine_Wolf@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago

"Uhh... Something something about an inordinate fondness for beetles."

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago
[–] evanuggetpi@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 years ago

Checkmate, christians!

[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago
[–] Ragnell@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

I think the favored beast of the gods is Bear. They're very tanky.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

True, but turtles can't go surfing.

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 5 points 2 years ago

You tell that to Crush and Squirt from Finding Nemo, dude!

[–] Potatisen@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Turtles can surf like a MFer, what you talking about?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net -2 points 2 years ago

Their armor makes a handy bowl to eat turtle soup out of for a human.