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[-] amio@kbin.social 49 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

People who are bored all the time could be depressed. Depression being stigmatized, people won't necessarily want to talk about it more directly, or "bother" other people with it. It could also just be expressing a desire to do something without knowing what.

The people basically encouraging chores (wtf?) or implying they're a manipulative emotional vampire should consider being a little less judgmental.

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 39 points 9 months ago

You don't. Boredom is a gift. It drives people to be creative and improve themselves.

[-] PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com 7 points 9 months ago

I've used Dota 2 as a crutch for years, stopping it every now and then when I felt it was interfering with my personal development or school work.

I'm a moment of stoppage now...and man, having the time to write (I like to write), or play with AI stuff or clean my home or pack (we're moving soon) is really nice. I don't have that intense inner pressure that comes with winning or losing an online multiplayer game, which just opens up so much space for everything else.

[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Or it could turn you into a huge stoner like it did to me for like a decade. I'm from a suburban area, but there isn't much to do around here other than drink, farm and hunt. Drinking gets old quickly and I don't farm or hunt. Also the weather limited my choice of activities for a good 5 months out of the year.

I just moved down to South Florida where I just want to be active because the weather is nice (at least for now, ask me again in about 4 months) and everyone looks good, so if I'm not laying out by the pool or working out (for "free" at the building's gym) I'm usually doing something else, rather than sitting inside smoking out of boredom.

[-] RecallMadness@lemmy.nz 2 points 9 months ago

Boredom is a gift that gives people energy.

Where they spend that energy is entirely up to their circumstances. Do they binge watch an entire series of the simpsons? Or do they take up painting.

It can lead to wonderful things, but equally it can be squandered.

[-] Gerula@lemmy.world 35 points 9 months ago

You don't. Unless your job is to entertain this person otherwise it's his/hers problem. If by any chance this this person is putting the responsibility of his/hers emotional state on your shoulders and asking you to do something, it's not ok and is an attempt of manipulation.

[-] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 9 months ago

Or a cry for help because the person only knows this way to ask for that kind of help.

[-] LegionEris@feddit.nl 30 points 9 months ago

This is fairly common in both depression and ADHD, so maybe check on them? Like, make sure they are personally okay. Someone who needs to be consistently stimulated is probably uncomfortable at rest. Being bored all the time is something I struggle with personally. I have ADHD and depression and trauma. Addressing and working on those things helps immensely with the chronic boredom. When I'm more depressed or anxious, I'm more easily bored and crave more stimulation. So, yeah, play Ted Lasso and check in on them.

[-] return2ozma@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

They say they have no interest in doing anything and are sad.

[-] timetravel 5 points 9 months ago

Yeah that sounds like some kind of depression. If it isn't medical cause try to get them socializing and into creative or explorative hobbies. If it's medical just be there and encourage them to seek treatment

[-] TigrisMorte@kbin.social 0 points 9 months ago

Bet if you got them a living wage and affordable health care they'd be a lot better.

[-] burgersc12@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago

There is two things to do

  1. find something they enjoy and ask if they want to do it

  2. realize they were never gonna do #1 no matter how interesting it might be. And now you know why they're always bored

[-] athos77@kbin.social 15 points 9 months ago

A couple things struck me here, and idk if they're relevant or not. If it was just an occasional "I'm bored", that's one thing. But with always being bored, you start getting into a paraphrased, "Why don't you entertain me?" And (unless this is a toddler and you're their parent or babysitter) that's not your responsibility.

The second thing is, you (and whoever else is entertaining them) aren't going to be around constantly, nor are you going to be around forever. They will always be bored unless they learn how to entertain themselves, to seek out something that they find interesting or worthwhile or somehow meaningful.

Moving into speculation here, but I would suspect they'd like more connections in their life, so I'd start encouraging them with that. If they're the type to connect with nature, maybe walks are a good idea, or even if you live in an area where nature is scarce, giving them plants may help. That could be something they nurture from a seed, or a food they can grow, or pretty flowers.

If they connect with animals, then volunteering at a shelter, or getting a job as a dog walker, etc, that may help ground them. If they connect with people, then volunteering is a good way to meet people. Volunteering doesn't have to be at a shelter or food pantry; in my town you can volunteer with the fire department, schools, local parks, etc. If they crave intellectual stimulation, then encourage them to learn by taking online classes, or to simulate their imagination by reading, preferably physical books.

Anyway, that's my .02, fwiw. Again, it's not your job to entertain them, and they're always going to be bored until they learn how to entertain themselves.

[-] TigrisMorte@kbin.social 14 points 9 months ago

Hand them a book. If they don't start reading, take the book and smack them with it, then hand it back. Very important to never say a word. Just stare seriously, directly into their eyes.

[-] noahm@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

I'm 100% trying this on my 9-year-old next time he tells me he's bored. It'll be a gentle smack, of course...

[-] Bahalex@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

I suggest Redwall. It’s short, it’s awesome. If it’s not a hard cover copy it shouldn’t hurt too much.

[-] buran@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

My experience with those was that they proved formulaic and repetitive after a time, but the first few were good. They did have problems with shallow characterisations, though, at least to me.

[-] TigrisMorte@kbin.social 1 points 9 months ago

You smack according to the thickness of the skull.

[-] Marcumas@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Harvey Danger told me that if you're bored then you're boring. So you need to tell them to go do something instead of complain about it. Some people need to be pushed out of their comfort zone to snap out of boredom

[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

The agony and irony is killing me

[-] spittingimage@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Expose them to a range of hobbies.

[-] m0darn@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago

Ask if they want to snuggle? At least now you have something to talk about.

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 5 points 9 months ago

I don't get how anyone can be bored nowadays.

[-] Raisin8659@monyet.cc 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Typically, people aren't always bored, because otherwise, you are basically emotionally flat and depressed and soon will be suicidal. Have you seen kids that say they are bored? It just means they are not doing anything that interest them.

To get "unbored", you most likely need to be doing something that is fun, and/or meaningful, and/or enjoyable, and/or worthy, and/or essential to survival (in a way, people who are bored may be having it too easy). It may be better to be doing something productive, personally or socially, than doing something just addictive.

Even being still meditating is doing something (like actively paying attention to the breath).

[-] TheInsane42@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

It's good to be bored, so they can think over things like bad life decissoons, why they are bored and why they think somebody else needs to entertain them instead of fjndjng something to do. (Or why they should do anything anyway)

There's nothing wrong with doing nothing for a while.

[-] kryllic@programming.dev 3 points 9 months ago

So exciting stuff without them and invite them later on if they ask about it. I think some people just like complaining about being bored though and like the attention.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

My mom always said, "if you kids don't have anything you want to do, I have plenty of things I want you to do." So give them some chores. If they're gonna be unhappy they can at least be accomplishing something that needs doing. If they hate it enough, they will suddenly think of something they'd rather do, and will enjoy it more because of the alternative. If they stop bringing this problem to you, so much the better.

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 10 points 9 months ago

This is very bad advice from your mom. All it will accomplish is kids stopping to say they are bored to their parents, since they get punished for it.

[-] otp@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

Getting kids to stop complaining about being bored sounds pretty great!

[-] Monkeyhog@lemmy.world -1 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a success than.

[-] Geth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago

Having your kids disconnect from you as a safety net, confidant and role model is a huge failure as a parent.

[-] roofuskit@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Give them something creative to do. Boredom is the mother of creativity.

[-] preppietechie@midwest.social 1 points 9 months ago

I’ll second the idea that boredom isn’t always bad, and that it can often lead to new ideas and experiences. But if you really feel the need to do something for the person, try gifting experiences like food tours, trial hobbies or sports (curling, photography, etc).

[-] Nemo@midwest.social 1 points 9 months ago

Give them a project to complete.

[-] TheV2@programming.dev 0 points 9 months ago

The comments here, including mine, most likely won't help you to find a solution for that boredom. 'Bored' is a vague term. There can be endless ways why and especially how drastic somebody is always bored. Whether that somebody is you, somebody who asked you for help or somebody who you think needs help, you know them better than anyone here.

this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
59 points (94.0% liked)

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