905
submitted 9 months ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 70 points 9 months ago

Pre-boil all their pasta and put in back in the box to make dinner easier for them next time

[-] BlackPenguins@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Also pre-boil all their water and put it in the freezer for them.

[-] pupbiru@aussie.zone 1 points 9 months ago

well thanks i guess for that rabbit hole i just dove head first down

[-] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

Who hurt you?

[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 54 points 9 months ago

You make yourself coffee while familiarizing yourself with their kitchen enough to make a suggestion on how it could be laid out better.

That's right, Jeremy, I've been here nary a day and I already know your home better than you. You don't deserve this house, I deserve this house!

[-] Nougat@kbin.social 22 points 9 months ago

Change where their silverware drawer is to assert dominance.

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

I fart in the silverware drawer. So then they will open it like 'boy oh boy I need a fork right now OH NO ITS FARTS!'

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Take a dump in their nipple cabinet.

[-] Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

I want a friendship divorce and I'm taking the house with me

[-] TinklesMcPoo@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Think of what this will do to the ottomans! Won't someone think of the ottomans!?

[-] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Honestly if my friend did this I’d let her reorganize my kitchen.

She’s about the same height as me, and lives in a tiny place, so she’d probably have some good ideas.

Also my cabinets and drawers are a mis-match hodgepodge (they aren’t all the same depth or height; some of them have lost half their volume for unknown ancient-house reasons) so I’m always down for ideas.

[-] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 35 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Power up the SNES and grab a soda my dude!

[-] kratoz29@lemm.ee 5 points 9 months ago

Soda in the morning!?

I mean, I think I could drink it but I'm not in a mood... Unless I have tacos!

Certainly this wouldn't be a problem as a kiddo.

[-] variants@possumpat.io 31 points 9 months ago

Hangout with their mom in the kitchen

[-] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

You gotta schedule something for later, there wouldn't be enough time.

[-] uphillbothways@kbin.social 28 points 9 months ago

Just leave. They're probably listening to you while trying to remain motionless because they can't stand people in the morning. Go home. Break the silent stale mate.

[-] Resol@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

Betray them by secretly leaving the house without leaving any traces behind. Putting your phone on silent also helps.

[-] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

And just take one or two plants.

[-] Resol@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago
[-] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Mom will know, she'll blame her own kid.

[-] Resol@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Ah yes, they always do that.

[-] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 16 points 9 months ago

Now imagine this before smartphones were a thing lol

[-] MrShankles@reddthat.com 11 points 9 months ago

Gonna fire up their N64 and hope they don't wake up too soon, cause I want some alone time with it... I ain't got one at home, and I'm tired of being wrecked in Golden Eye just because they get to practice every day after school. Shh shhh shhhh ... sleep a little longer my friend. Them chickens coming home to roost any day now

[-] moon@lemmy.cafe 7 points 9 months ago

Play on my phone, or if it's been like an hour I'll probably just dip out lol

[-] aesthelete@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Just bounce; especially if everyone was drinking.

this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
905 points (99.3% liked)

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