pupbiru

and as a gay man that’s into fisting i know from personal experience that you can fit an arm up to the shoulder inside your digestive system!

plenty of videos of that online too

you need to know css to use tailwind because it’s basically style= on everything: it’s css with extra steps

imo there’s VERY little difference to a lot of tailwind and style=“…”. you gain a few minor abstractions, but you lose so much

their problems are legitimate problems sure, but in a lot of cases problems with a lot of those groups can be summed up with a couple of things:

• it’s different to my world view and i don’t like it
• i think i deserve something and am not getting it

those are different kinds of problems to acknowledging your own feelings, or people are using me and trampling over me… both are deserving of help, but incels, terfs, extremists in general are harming others with their problems

you’re free to swing your arms until they come into contact with my body

these classes of people are harmful to others - i don’t think anyone thinks they aren’t deserving of help, but they are dangerous in a completely different way

meanwhile in australia: FUCK YEAH INVASION DAY CUNTS 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🦘🐨

while our politicians say that not loving australia day and wanting to move it to literally any other significant day in australian history is unaustralian 😔

… im sure we’re not alone

(and then i looked up canada day - nope that’s their day of confederation, south africa - their day of their first non-racial democratic elections, nz - … waitangi day - day of their treaty signing with the māori people - perhaps seems controversial in similar ways?… anyway australia day is a pretty fucking awful celebration)

but equivalent and equal are different right?

in comp sci “is the same thing as” (equal) and “amounts to the same thing as” (equivalent) are very different concepts

(also when talking “DEI”-type use [god i hate that i hate phrasing it like that]: equality is not wanted: we don’t want the same as in most cases; we want amounts to the same as taking in different circumstances)

yup! and absolutely worth the mention that if you’re queer (qlife), struggling with specific issues - alcohol, gambling, finance, eating disorders, etc - there’s specific support available to a lot of people in australia, the US, europe, etc

if you need help, help is available! find one of these services who can help you find the specific support that you need, and go from there :)

as a gay man, i found a lot more help when i started seeing services that specialised in queer health :)

yall deserve someone who understands what you’re going through in life

yeah id say it’s not overt, but that’s kinda the problem… it’s almost difficult to identify, so when it comes to mental health for men a lot of the time society, therapists, etc almost gaslights us into thinking our problems aren’t problems

if it were overt it’d be easy to identify… the fact what it’s not, the fact that men are the majority, and are the problem in a lot of cases pushes people to certain conclusions (including ourselves about our own problems)

mental health is complex af

in australia we have (limited) free mental health services (i wanna say 8 free sessions with a therapist?)… this still holds true

it’s not only about money

i’d like to be very clear here… a lot of discussion about men’s spaces is thinly veiled sexism by incels… that doesn’t mean there’s not a problem, it just means that incels are attracted to “it’s not my fault”

that said, there’s a comment up thread that captures it pretty well

… mental health professionals all my 'issues' were blow way out of proportion … always 100% told me everything that happens to me is entirely my fault. they also told me it was normal/healthy to vent my feelings by doing productive things (like writing, exercising, relaxing), rather than viewing that as 'not addressing the problem'.

the issue with so much of this crap is that not only does nobody want to talk to men, it's that they don't want to listen and/or the tell us we are 'talking wrong'. even when we do talk to people, there is only a tiny window of acceptable things we an talk about and way we can talk about them or how selfish it is of him to vent/indulge his legitimate emotions.

… a man bursts into tears over his father dying of cancer and all the sudden everyone wants to tell him his reaction is too intense … someone in his life try to get him to 'open up' and then we he does he's met with nothing but hostility, disappointment, and eventually rejection

it’s a meme (not in a “haha” joke way: in the actual meaning of the world; a thing that is repeated often) these days that there are horrible men who tell women (re sexism) “you must have misunderstood”… and the point of that is that men don’t have the life experience as a minority to be able to understand sexism, transphobia, etc (people treat them differently, and even if they see it they often can’t identify it because they’re not accustomed to listening for it 24/7)

that same situation exists for men too… men are certainly not a minority, but nobody is allowed to say that someone’s experience is invalid… there’s a lot of people dismissing these experiences in this thread, and if it were reversed: a woman complaining about a man making a sexist comment, a gay man (of which i’m one) complaining about homophobia, there wouldn’t be any pushback at all because we’ve come to agree that this shit happens

we know that toxic masculinity exists, we know that societal expectations of men are sky high (the suicide rate for men in particular is HUGE)… we’re clearly doing something wrong, as a society, dealing with male mental health… when people come out and tell us their experiences, it absolutely is sexist to write off those experiences as invalid: “i don’t think that kind of thing happens because i haven’t seen it”, is absolutely (anything)-ist language

is it on the same level as problem as sexism or racism? probably not… but denying the problem helps nobody… denying the problem, in this case, makes the problem so much worse and pushes people to lash out and become sexist, racist, homophobic, etc (which is also not to remove blame from them - all those things are wrong and a personal choice and should have personal repercussions)

The genders are massivenly different in a lot of ways

and even if you think that the psychology of genders isn’t different, society treats genders differently and this either from the therapist who reacts differently to different genders, or from the patient who expects difference the point is the same: the construct of gender forces artificial difference, even if it’s not based in real “our brains are the same” science (which they aren’t - same as our biology isn’t quite the same)

equity is different to equality, and equity is actually what is needed

if you say “libs” it instantly puts people in the headspace of “own the libs”, “everything i don’t like is woke”… it’s a dog whistle, and thus sets people up to think the rest of what’s being said is tainted

the ideologies in the group are not a cohesive block