this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
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Atheism

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[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 81 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Sometimes the waiter murders innocent people because they didn’t accept the cook as the one true cook.

Order the chicken nuggets again, louder, or prepare to die

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Remember that one time where humanity came together to put the cooks' kid on a cross?

[–] taladar@feddit.de 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

How can we forget. Ever since the waiter has been serving the son's blood and meat.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Unlimited bread sticks!

[–] atheist@feddit.de 1 points 2 years ago

Again, and again, and again, and again...

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 59 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The difference is I can go to a restaurant’s kitchen and talk to the chef and watch him work.

[–] 30p87@feddit.de 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You'd be thrown out if you'd try to enter the kitchen for hygiene reasons, but yes.

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hygiene reasons...LOL they wouldn't kick you out for that reason at all. No one would mention it but those that think kitchens are spotless germ free zones, which they are not

[–] harmonea@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

If you can't fathom the idea of relying on an "easy out" like hygiene when the actual answer is "I just don't want people back here, there's a reason none of us even considered a FOH job" you might be the kind of person who gets told convenient lies routinely.

(See how unnecessary that added personal attack was? Yours was too. Let's make lemmy/kbin a nicer place to be than the alternative, okay?)

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 years ago

At no point was my reply personal...your reading skills are subpar.

[–] AstralWeekends@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

For all I know, the food coming out of the kitchen is being prepared by an automated assembly line maintained by robots and a group of cosmic turtles. Is that God? Some might say so... 🐢

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

That explains some of the bad meals I've had recently.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And all the waiters are working off of different menus, they can’t even agree which menu is the correct one or which meals this restaurant even serves. Sometimes the waiters even get into fights with each other.

[–] Master@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 years ago

And if you order the wrong thing or you are a woman ordering for yourself some of the waiters stone you to death...

[–] Texas_Hangover@lemm.ee 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If the order is completely fucked up, it's part of some "plan" and you should be happy for the vile overcooked tofu they slapped down in front of you.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Tofu that you brought with you and provided for yourself because the chef feeds those who feed themselves.

[–] jlow@beehaw.org 18 points 2 years ago

"You're not ordering hard enough" 😹

[–] S_204@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Missed the part about taking your money, at the risk of public humiliation and ostracization if you don't comply.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And the waiter has a limo and private jet

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

But don't worry, he's a humble servant of the lord!

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 years ago

Nah my favorite thing to ask them is if they have any dead relatives and they say yes I just say "damn bro should've prayed harder sounds like it's your fault"

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

The waiter brings you a bill and demands you pay and order again, then an hour later just brings you another bill and you keep paying forever but the sky cake never shows up on the table.

[–] reverendsteveii@beehaw.org 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sometimes a plate comes out of the kitchen but instead of what you ordered it's cancer

[–] Danc4498@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago

Either way it’s a dumb analogy. So the chef is god cause he cooks the food? Well guess what, the chef didn’t grow the vegetables or raise the cows for the meal. He got them from somewhere else. So if you believe god created everything, you have to ask what created god.

[–] CarlsIII@kbin.social 5 points 2 years ago

As there are schools that train you to be a chef, clearly there are also schools that train you to be a god.

[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

Most of the time the restaurant makes you pay ahead of time without giving you food and blames you for not paying more money.

[–] rgb3x3@beehaw.org 3 points 2 years ago

I can get up from my table and walk to the kitchen to meet the chef.

Where can I walk to find God? Oh, I can't meet him? And nobody can? Until they die? Then I don't care who you say he is.

[–] CarlsIII@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

As there are schools that train you to be a chef, clearly there are also schools that train you to be a god.

[–] cybermass@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago