It's funny to consider "love of country" to mean "the food, certain people, and beautiful landmarks", while simultaneously condemning the actions of its government, and like half of the citizens who live there.

Not that I'm criticizing, mind. I struggled with this myself for a long time before finally coming to the realization that this country is like a problematic family. You're told that you should love it even if you don't like lots of aspects of it very much. Like an abusive parent.

I'm in my 40s now, and I've finally realized that that's bullshit. I don't love this country. I used to, but I've realized that I only ever loved the idea of this country while the reality has been a profound disappointment.

The barbecue is good, though. So that's nice.

Have you ever loved someone but you realized you need to break up because they're on a self-destructive path and staying with them is just enabling it?

The Nation is a collective illusion. While it is a shared illusion, it is not universally shared. We each can speak of the Nation in the same terms, but we each mean and understand something different when we use those terms.

Both those inside and outside the Nation believe they know what the Nation is. To some the Nation is its military, to some its politicians, to some it is a building, or a document, or a place, or a flag, a certain food, a way of speaking, or manner of dress, a line on a map.

In truth, the Nation is none of these things because the Nation does not exist, except in the imagination of those who believe that it does. This does not make the Nation unimportant or meaningless. Even if you (personally) decide that the illusion is delusion, you will still live inside the beliefs of others.

The Nation can only be what we (collectively) make it. What do you believe the Nation is? What do you believe it should be? Will you work to make it what it should be?

I don't understand patriotism, it's so arbitrary. I didn't choose where I was born. Why would I feel pride for something I just happen to be a part of by chance?

I love the city I live in now, but I don't feel proud to belong here, I just do. It's not an achievement. I also feel like nationalism is divisive when we should be aiming towards unifying as human beings all over the world.

Sounds pretty representative to me

I'll expose my take on this subject. Before that, a few warnings:

1. I'm not too concerned on [dis]agreeing with the original post; instead I'm speaking what I think, in a disordered rambling.
2. I'll say things that show clear disdain towards the concept of patriotism, plus towards the idea that you should hold it in high regard. This disdain should not be assumed to apply to the original poster.
3. I don't pay taxes to the same gov as OP, and I'm not talking about USA, I'm talking in general grounds.

With that out of the way...

For me a country is solely a government that controls a territory and demands taxes from a population. That's it; it's an abstract tool, an "it", and it should be treated as such. And just like it's silly to profess your love for a screwdriver or a hammer, it's also silly to profess your love towards a country = government.

It's a mistake to associate a country with a nation. And this mistake has name: "nationalism".

Most of the people from someone's country are not one's family, neighbours or friends. They're people with barely any relevance in one's life, just like most people paying taxes to other governments. Same deal with the things that they do. It's silly to pretend that one holds strong feelings for them.

And, if the person does hold strong feelings for others (or their cultural output) as long as they pay taxes to the same government as one does, that only represents bubbling and failure to look at the people paying taxes to other governments. ile another is still lit.

Instead I'd rather love, appreciate, hate, show disdain, or ignore individuals. Regardless of country.

I don't feel proud for people of the past. I don't feel shame for them either. I'm not changing this based on which country those dead people paid taxes to.

I know that this will sound rude but I'd rather be honest at the expense of politeness. Every time that I see someone waving a government flag (whichever it might be), I picture a cow shaking its butt, saying "moo! I'm branded! I'm property and I'm proud of that! Gotta show my owner's brand, moooo!". Because while the being in question might not be physical property of that government, it (yup) is certainly its intellectual property, accepting that a tool (a government) tells it what it should think.

At the end of the day, "patriotism" is just an euphemism for nationalism. The people who say "I'm not nationalist! I'm a patriot", in my view, say the same sort of nonsense as someone who said "he is not dead! He just passed away!" or "this is not an dog! This is a Canis familiaris!".