Modern beauty standards : science

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 106 points 8 months ago

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

[-] TxzK@lemmy.zip 53 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

[-] FaceDeer@fedia.io 18 points 8 months ago

Sounds like we need to get the SCP Foundation involved. I'm getting some serious Turn Down for What vibes from this.

[-] Mirshe@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Nah, this is an AWCY-grade weird performance art thing.

[-] multifariace@lemmy.world 39 points 8 months ago

She's a man eater.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

Watch out boy she'll chew you up.

[-] klemptor@startrek.website 11 points 8 months ago

Ohhh-ohhh here she comes

[-] federated_toast@lemm.ee 33 points 8 months ago

Zorak approved

[-] fossilesque@mander.xyz 16 points 8 months ago

/blink

[+] Treevan@aussie.zone 32 points 8 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 19 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Some Mantis dude died for this pic

[-] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 4 points 8 months ago

Turns out that whole thing was wolf science; the researchers were literally starving them so of course they would resort to cannibalism.

[-] JustUseMint@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

How it walk round wit dat wagon

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Junk on the trunk

[-] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

This was actually the inspiration for some art I got, the initial idea being that the person wished for an ideal girlfriend and ended up with an insect lady who was objectively beautiful but extremely awkward to look at. It came as a result of me looking into what people considered attractive and noticing that every single trait that could be applied to a bug (because they sure as hell aren't getting "intelligent") did.

Now i'm bug-pilled. The future is going to be made up of insect-people.

[-] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

In case you were curious what it looked like, here is the concept art I drew

And the completed version can be found at: https://twitter.com/ElietteQlay/status/1680868917038776320?s=20

spoiler EDIT: Found this one as well bug person smiling showing their mandibles

:::

[-] SevenOfWine@startrek.website 7 points 8 months ago

There's a Craig Ferguson interview, where he says one of the secrets of some(!!!) of the most attractive Hollywood actors, is that in real-life they look like bug people. You know, weird looking, big eyes, huge head, tiny body. Looks great on camera and in 2d, not so much in the flesh. Probably also why IRC some Hollywood insiders call actors lollipop people. Stick with a big head on it.

[-] tegs_terry@feddit.uk 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The fallacy you're under is that these things are 'big' or 'small', which implies they're not actually ideal. That leads to hyperbole like this where the proportions are too extreme.

[-] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Tell me about it. There's a meme among artists where they ask for proportions to be bigger and bigger until the thing in question takes up the entire page. You're like "Are you sure this is what you want" and they're like "Hmm you think you can make it juust a little bigger?"

It's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5eaDhCVNJU if anyone ever asks for something to be made more naturally proportioned.

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 12 points 8 months ago

So hot.

[-] EntropicalVacation@midwest.social 12 points 8 months ago

“She had six strong legs and it frightened me. She had insect eyes but I could still see that the look she gave him you give to me.”

[-] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

well, now I know this exists.

thanks, I guess

edit: apparently this guy is responsible for R.E.M.

[-] Spendrill@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago

Wikipedia:
To mate
following courtship,
the male usually leaps onto the female's back,
clasping her thorax and wing bases
with his forelegs.
He then arches his abdomen
to deposit and store sperm
in a special chamber near the tip of the female's abdomen.
The female lays between 10 and 400 eggs,
depending on the species. Eggs are typically deposited in a froth mass-produced by glands
in the abdomen.
This froth hardens,
creating a protective capsule,
which together with the egg mass
is called an ootheca.

[-] badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

poemforyoursprog is that you?

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[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

Will eat you after you blow your load

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 months ago

I'm listening

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 5 points 8 months ago

Doesn't matter, had sex 😎

[-] JustUseMint@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw

[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

A classic

[-] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 months ago

after

And in some cases, while.

[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

The female may begin feeding by biting off the male's head (as they do with regular prey), and if mating has begun, the male's movements may become even more vigorous in its delivery of sperm.

Bruh

[-] numberfour002@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

Her milk shake brings all the bugs to her arms.

[-] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Skinny legs? Is that a thing people want?

[-] stelelor@lemmy.ca 7 points 8 months ago

Look up "thigh gap". Not saying I agree with it, just that it's a thing.

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[-] _sideffect@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I don't like huge butts, like the bbl. It's gross

[-] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 7 points 8 months ago

You dislike big butts and you cannot lie?

[-] _sideffect@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

😂

[-] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago

✅ Flesh-rending claws

[-] maculata@aussie.zone 3 points 8 months ago

All fine but I don’t like big butts.

[-] fossilesque@mander.xyz 8 points 8 months ago

Probably for the best, you can tell these types are man eaters with one look.

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[-] GluWu@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago

Can you lie?

[-] maculata@aussie.zone 2 points 8 months ago

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am truthful to a fault.

[-] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 2 points 8 months ago

You know how 3d glasses make anyone 3000x times more attractive? Well guess what, they can wear 3d glasses too.

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 8 months ago

skinny legs aint sexy when paired with a big butt

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