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[-] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 95 points 7 months ago

That is so much money to entrust to one turtle

[-] Steve@startrek.website 44 points 7 months ago

Its not money until the turtle finds a way to fence it

[-] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 14 points 7 months ago

Where I’m from cocaine is the same, if not better, than money.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

Vending machines wont take my cocaine

[-] nomous@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

With cocaine you can easily obtain multiple vending machines of your own.

[-] weker01@feddit.de 6 points 7 months ago

Cocaine can be exchanged for goods and vending machines.

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[-] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 77 points 7 months ago

These Cocaine Bear sequels are getting weird.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

Unlike the original, of course.

[-] redbr64@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Yes, a cinematic masterpiece soon to be on the criterion collection!

[-] WamGams@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 months ago

Cut out the feel good "not without my daughter" parts of the story and it was actually pretty good.

Scratch that, take out the plot but keep all the kills, add a few more in and the film would have been a solid 8/10.

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[-] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Cocaine Orca gonna slap tho

[-] ickplant@lemmy.world 38 points 7 months ago
[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 30 points 7 months ago

Oh, so the turtle was unemployed, after all

Good to hear she didn't turn to the path of crime

[-] ericbomb@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

No no no.

The turtle is employed; they work for the cops.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 7 months ago

That is what the turtle wants you to think

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago

The Coast Guard sure has some funky math.

seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million

But this 1800 lbs is worth $53mil?

They're just making up these numbers

[-] ickplant@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

Of course they are. The whole war on drugs is made up.

[-] Steve@startrek.website 2 points 7 months ago
[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 2 points 7 months ago

That's just a maritime ton

[-] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

it's worth nothing until you realize the gains

[-] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 37 points 7 months ago

$48 Million worth of Cocaine was found strapped to a turtle? Incredible.

[-] spaceguy5234@lemmy.world 29 points 7 months ago

Crazy they found $40 million worth of cocaine on this turtle. Where could it have gotten the $35 million of cocaine from?

[-] misc@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 7 months ago

Crazy someone would attach 30 million worth of cocaine to a turtle.

[-] Acters@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

I'm sure there will be an astute amount of investigation on the 20 million worth of cociane floating with the turtle

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[-] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 35 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

The cutter Thetis is part of Operation Martillo — an international effort launched in 2012 to target drug trafficking routes along the Central American coast.

In its most recent patrol, the operation seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million, according to a release by the Coast Guard.

And the War on Drugs™ continues its neverending game of Whack-a-mole®

[-] lordmauve@programming.dev 9 points 7 months ago

*Whack-a-turtle

FTFY

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[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago

I bet the turtle approached them thinking they're possible mates.

Size and shape roughly fit.

They're not too picky about what they hump.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago

I didn't know Mitch McConnell was running errands for Trump Jr!

[-] EpeeGnome@lemm.ee 24 points 7 months ago

From now on, we need to refer to all water traveling drug smugglers as drug turtles instead of drug mules.

[-] aviationeast@lemmy.world 20 points 7 months ago

Did I ever tell you the time we found a turtle with $50 million worth of cocaine attached to it?

[-] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 7 months ago

Wow, how did the turtle get that $45 million of coke?

[-] Seleni@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

Not sure, but we gave the $40 million worth of cocane to the FDA.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 7 months ago

Next time, give the turt a couple bumps off the coke so it can outrun the cops.

[-] Klicnik@sh.itjust.works 15 points 7 months ago

The turtle has been found guilty, and sentencing will take place in September.

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago

These mandatory minimum sentences are getting out of hand.

[-] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago
[-] Cqrd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 7 months ago

Turtle powder

[-] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 months ago

animalsthatgotfiredfromtheirjobs

[-] pseudo@jlai.lu 11 points 7 months ago

The DEA turtle !

[-] Tulitaa@kbin.social 9 points 7 months ago

Turtle. Holding. Big time.

[-] Retrograde@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

You all jest - and fair enough.. but dude.. this just makes me so sad :( that poor turt didn't sign up for this shit

[-] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 7 points 7 months ago

Did they at least give him a trial?

[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 6 points 7 months ago

Steady pace wins the face candy.

[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

On it's way to a cowabunga party.

[-] Hiro8811@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago
[-] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

He is the party dude.

[-] iamjackflack@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

He can’t go down with 2 barrels!

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this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
485 points (98.6% liked)

Animals with Jobs

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