The inaccurate ones are the scariest. That crab isn't remotely natural, it must be the work of a truly gifted and insane necromancer.

Most are just going to laugh at you and be as unhelpful as possible if you come at them like that. You're just giving them an excuse to stick to the script and tell you to pound sand. If you let them know it's not personal but you're angry at the company and keep your approach professional they're much more likely to think outside the box, bend the rules, or escalate your issue to get things taken care of.

I can walk into any donut shop and I already know what I want. If you can't do that I suspect you're some kind of foreign agent who isn't familiar with what you might find in a donut shop.

BTW, it's apple fritters, and I'll have three, thanks.

The secret service didn't let anyone but the shooter have a gun, so everyone's feeling awkward

When you live in a country where your vacation requests can be denied arbitrarily you might be tempted to just say 'fuck em' and let them know it's not optional the day before you skip work.

Mental health maintenance is a valid reason to use sick leave, and getting out of town to have some fun is exactly what people need from time to time. Her union should hire her a good lawyer to tell the district to pound sand.

Bro, not only are they sentient, the trees fucking hate us. Allergies aren't just something that happens as a quirk of evolution. Those trees are filling the air with their jizz in a coordinated effort to take us out bro. The trees are trying to kill us bro.

Sounds like they're telegraphing their plans for day one of Trump's next administration.

Every woman in Ohio should call the coroner to report their monthly discharge, just in case

There must have been a tragic and bizarre set of circumstances to lead to this. The IDF has assured us that they're taking great measures to avoid civilian casualties, and their actions are fully legal and justified. Those hostages must have escaped and taken up arms and attacked the Israeli soldiers by mistake, because otherwise they couldn't possibly have been mistaken for combatants. I'm just flabbergasted, no one could have foreseen something like this happening. It's really shocking.

causing them to suffer "embarrassment, ridicule, emotional distress, humiliation, and loss of reputation."

Hold up, who caused that? Seems like it wouldn't have been possible if they hadn't acted in a way that was embarrassing, ridiculous, and humiliating.