Sir this is r/relationshipadvice, the only answer we can give is run, burn your life down, and fake your own death.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

None of the service minded people will be jumping ship lol. Earning california minimum wage plus tips is better than a fast food $20. Non front of house might try and jump over, but they aren't the service minded people he talks about and the "teens" he claims to worry about can just take those open casual dining jobs or casual dining can just raise their pay for back of house until they can keep workers. What a nonce.

I think the word you are looking for is apt or relevant, and not ironic.

The vaccine spreads our liberal spider attraction. It makes spiders look all spider in their spider way. I mean spiders spider so spiders, you spider? Spider spider spider.

Ya they respond prematurely, get overexcited, and spew loads of idiotic proportions. It is no longer virgin ground to make pornographic videos. They need to grow a massive amount and stop gaping their holes.

It says it was updated today, but pretty sure this is old news. My concept of time is iffy though, could be weeks old story updated, could be months old story.

First read, I thought this was a word salad stroke joke. Took me a few reads but, even if it's off putting, it is english.

First openly gay man in world history with a written down quote attributed directly to him that is talking about how gay he is...... maybe?

If you think art is at all dependent on each individual recognizing it as good, then I think you've completely missed the point of a lot of art. Most art only appeals to some.

Domestic abuse campaign the dress produced? I barely pay attention, remember the dress but not that.

Didn't the Russians dig trenches there and die? Wouldn't that raise the radiation?