Somehow, Altman returned.

Ah, I was wondering why YouTube was taking so long to load recently. I thought it was just because their code was shit, and it turns out I was right, but not in the way I thought.

Image Transcription: Meme

[The meme shows two fanart images of the character Sayori, from "Doki Doki Literature Club", with text to the right of each image.]

[In the first image, Sayori is wearing sunglasses and scowling, with her hand up in a blocking gesture. The text reads:]

Anti-Cheat

[In the second image, Sayori has her head up high, looking pleased, with a finger pointed to the right, where the text reads:]

Kernel Level Surveillance

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Image Transcription: Meme

Junior devs writing comments:

[A photograph of a road signpost in front of a metal fence with a low, long building in the distance. The post has two signs on it. At the top is an octagonal sign, filled red with a white outline, reading "STOP". Beneath it is a rectangular sign with an arrow pointing up to the stop sign, and text reading "THIS IS A STOP SIGN".]

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Image Transcription: Meme

[Gru, the long-nosed protagonist of the "Despicable Me" franchise, presents to the camera, pointing into the air and smiling. Behind him is a flipchart with text reading:]

And the best part about using Linux: No viruses!

[Still presenting, Gru has his hand in a C shape and his head down as he peers at the gap between his fingers. The text now reads:]

Look at this, a website downloaded a malicious .exe on my machine.

[Gru now has his hands pointing down, fingers splayed, still presenting. The text now reads:]

*Double Click*

See? Nothing happe...

[Gru looks back to the flipchart in a double-take, his eyes round and wide and his mouth downturned. The text still reads:]

*Wine is launching*

[The Wine logo: a slightly tipped wine glass with red wine sloshing inside it.]

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Image Transcription: Meme

STOP USING CSS

* HTML WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN CLASSES
* YEARS OF MARKUP yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for styling beyond <TABLE>
* Wanted to center content for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "<CENTER>"
* "Yes please align that content exactly 32.89% left. Please align 59.0px down"
    - Statements dreams up by the utterly deranged

LOOK at what FRONT-END Devs  have been demanding your Respect for all this time.
(This is REAL CSS. done by REAL Devs)

[Three screenshots of CSS code, each one marked with a number of red question marks. The first screenshot has five question marks and reads as follows:]

h1 {
        font-size: .75em;
        position: absolute;
        bottom: 20px;
        width: 94%;
        left: 2%;
}

[The second screenshot has eight question marks and reads as follows:]

*{
    font-size: 30px;

}
    q::before {
  content: "«";
  color: blue;
]

q::after {
  content: "»";
  color: red;
}

[The third screenshot has sixteen question marks and reads as follows:]

#header ul a:focus, #header ul a:active,
#header ul a:hover {
    background-color: #5A5A5A;
    outline-color: -moz-use-text-color:
    outline-style: none;
    outline-width: medium;
}

[The screenshots end.]

"Hello center that div please"

They have played us for absolute fools

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Image Transcription: Meme

In Unix there is a "man" command and a "cat" command...

[Image of a black dog with a white throat and floppy ears that hang limply, sitting by a bed. Their mouth is downturned and their round, sad eyes look up.]

so why no "dog" command???

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Image Transcription: Meme

People in every profession: We know what we do

Programmers:

["Awkward Look Monkey Puppet", two images of a red monkey puppet from “Ōkiku naru Ko”. On the left, the monkey faces right and sideglances with wide eyes and contracted pupils, while the right image shows the monkey staring straight ahead.]

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Image Transcription: Greentext

Anonymous

[Image of a feminine anime character with very pale red hair, pink eyes, blush under the eyes, and an open mouth.]

>Install the Linix operating system

>Suspicious black van is parked outside my apartment and doesn't move

>Black cashier at the grocer made weird hand gestures at me

>Every second night at 8 PM a car will circle past my window and honk exactly 3 times

>Every new month someone will leave a piece of litter in my mailbox

>Start receiving silent calls from random numbers every time I do the laundry

>Coworker talked to me about his dog in-person, next morning all youtube ads are about dog food and dog toys

>Stopped by a burger stand one day on my way home, all my bookmarked blogs running google adsense start advertising McDonald's exclusively

>My hotmail account is suddenly flooded with spam mails about alien abductions

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Image Transcription: Meme

[Four images of toilet roll holders, each with text above them.

The first shows a toilet roll holder holding a partially-used roll of toilet paper. Its text reads, "Non-zero value".

The second shows a holder holding a completely used roll of toilet paper, leaving just the cardboard tube. Its text reads, "0".

The third shows a holder with no toilet roll or cardboard tube on it at all. Its text reads, "null".

The fourth shows no holder; simply plain wall. Its text reads, "undefined".]

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Image Transcription: Code

bool is_prime(int x)
    return false;
}

[Beneath the code is a snippet of console output, as follows:]

test no.99989: passed
test no.99990: passed
test no.99991: failed
test no.99992: passed
test no.99993: passed
test no.99994: passed
test no.99995: passed
test no.99996: passed
test no.99997: passed
test no.99998: passed
test no.99999: passed
95.121% tests passed

I am a human who transcribes posts to improve accessibility on Lemmy. Transcriptions help people who use screen readers or other assistive technology to use the site. For more information, see here.

Image Transcription: Comic

[An Engineer Helping A Designer]

Panel 1

[Two people stand in front of a computer. One, the designer, has blue hair with a full beard and moustache, with sideburns, and a large nose. The other, the engineer, has brown hair and wears a hoodie. The engineer is typing at the computer, with a window up on the screen, while the designer stands with their arms limp by their sides.]

Engineer: No problem, we can fix this on the terminal

Panel 2

[The designer has their hand up to their beard, with wide eyes and a mouth rounded by amazement. The designer has a slightly confused expression, eyebrows frowning a little.]

Designer: Whoa, you're a hacker!

Engineer: No, it's just the terminal.

Panel 3

[The designer has their hands in the air, their mouth wide open, their eyebrows arced and both eyes looking in opposite directions in a look of bafflement. The engineer is rolling their eyes.]

Designer: Where are all the buttons, icons, and dropdown menus?

Panel 4

[Now with both hands to their beard, the designer has returned to their look of amazement, but with a hint of fear in their eyes, their pupils contracted to tiny white dots. The engineer looks relatively unphased.]

Designer: Is this... the matrix?

Engineer: Yes.

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