That's not a "never"

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was "rebooting the computer" I'd be depressingly wealthy.

I want more of this guy

it is the Ten Commandments' "historical significance, which is simply one of many documents that display the history of our country and foundation of our legal system.”

Alright, so let's put them up right next to the Hammurabi Code, which is also majorly significant to history and our legal system. Maybe highlight the part about how Hammurabi was chosen by the Babylonian gods as the ultimate arbiter of justice.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Nah, the nakedness was meant to symbolize humanity gaining self-awareness, which separates them from the purity and innocence of other animals. After Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, they realize they're naked and feel instinctively ashamed of that (as most people would, but regular animals wouldn't), so they cover themselves with leaves. In fact IIRC, the fact that they're covering themselves up is what tips off God that they ate the fruit.

I would imagine it's at gunpoint, figuratively or literally.

Alternate title: Find someone who can sit on your face

My coworker flips his shit every time I include a ternary operator in a PR. He also insists on refactoring any block of code longer than two lines into its own function, even when it's only used once.

He is not well liked.

Easily the most disappointing day of Oprah's life

Get weird about that thing you're weird about

I want this cross stitched over my mantelpiece

So... I guess this is my fetish now