What do you think is best for a poor just coming out gay guy in his 30s trying to escape the things that come with street life. I am also more interested in older people than people my own age. Afaik there is no place for me.

I fully assume I'll end up homeless but I have to leave.

I'm open to other areas too. Definitely away from north east/new England. Preferably away from East Coast.... Preferably near the ocean or a good lake... I don't want to be stuck in crime or around homophobes.

I was never an alcoholic. I quit my job due to stress and not fitting in and then COVID started soon after. I also started Lexapro around this time. I drank more regularly after this but not as an alcoholic imo. Lexapro was definitely part of drinking more... Alcohol was different after going on it.

During this time I got sucked into politics and watching the protests live. For once in my life I thought something good was going to happen for society. Even though I don't really support organized groups I thought something positive would come from everything in the end and for both sides even. Well it didn't. Without details... One night I got drunk and upset some people. And my life hasn't been the same since. I wish I could express how fucked up my life is. But I can't, I have to internalize all of it. So that, along with PTSD from certain experiences that came along with it... Getting drunk was the only thing that.. idk... That let me escape how fucked up my life is.

And here I am today. I am off Lexapro now and that made a big difference in my frequency and amount of alcohol I drink. But what didn't go away is when I drink ...like to have a good time... I basically don't stop.

In my life I get antagonized and poked till I react. And when this happens or I have a trigger or flash back of things that have happened things get ugly. Ive gone to jail for a fight. I've crashed my car. Some other wild experiences I'm not going to get into. Tbh I've seen worse drunks though.

I don't want to quit drinking. One day it will probably be my way out of life. Quitting drinking isn't going to stop my circumstances. It's not going fix my neurodivergence and lack of life skills. The only thing that could have fixed my life is having good people in it. But my life isn't fixable anymore. I literally can't fix myself to save life. My options are to be homeless, or kms. And I postpone that choice by drinking.

There's no escaping. I don't know what to do. My entire life's been fucked and I've never been free.

...like if you're not specifically posting for content? Or a community without reason?

I am hoping to move ASAP and have no idea what I'm doing.

Does anyone have any guidance? I've never made much money in my life so I'm nervous about that.

I want to move to the West Coast and know it's more expensive there. I want to be somewhere LGBT friendly. I like nature and paddle boarding too... So it would be cool to still be able to do that.

I don't know where to start. When I look for apartments it's always about ...1 or 2 apartments in my price range in an area of hundred of thousands of people.

I'm kind of unsure about looking for a job. I typically suck at interviews and have been the type to prove myself via hard work vs selling myself to an employer. I'm a pretty quiet person and it takes a lot for me to warm up to people and I find this to be a bad trait for employment. Ime it seems social people get picked first regardless of work ethic.

Idk any advice would be great. Like steps to be broken down so I'm not overwhelmed.

I want to avoid areas of crime, and prejudice. I also enjoy people that are down to earth more than what I consider wealth, trend and privilege.

I make about $14.50 right now....... lol-fml.

I wish dorm style living was a thing.

Thanks in advance for any info.

Edit: in terms of our of state... I'm thinking Vancouver CA or Toronto. West Coast would probably be Cali, OR or wa.

I'm somewhat open to East Coast south of Maryland.

Also, I'm in my 30s.

I am going to redo my server from scratch. I installed virt-manager hoping to build it in there and keep setup guide/notes for myself for when i move it to the server pc.

Im not fluent in linux speak so bare with me.

Does anyone know how I can reach the proxmox IP when its in a vm set up with virt-manager? I installed it with the default network adapter setting and it gave me 10.0.2.15 for the ip. I couldnt reach it from the main system or a debian vm. I deleted both the proxmox and debian vm's and will try again. Should I be using a different network mode in virt-manager? is it even possible to do what im trying to do?

I want to try out using proxmox with a debian vm instead of baremetal omv for docker. I was also thinking about using a VM of omv for my storage drives.

anyone have input on this stuff? I saw docker has a desktop app that seems pretty good so I was going to try that. Or would it be better to just install debian without a DE and use docker from the command line?

should i just use debian for the drive shares too? should i stick with smb?

does it even make sense for me to use proxmox? I figured it would be easier for me (personally) to keep things backed up. I like the idea of being able to create new vm's to experiment with without breaking my main/only server.

Thanks