oh this is gonna be good! (there's video)

What a winner.

Speaking in Sydney, China's ambassador Xiao Qian warned Australian parliamentarians should think carefully before travelling to the democratic island.

Mr Xiao said it was very important for Australian politicians to respect that Taiwan was part of China.

"Taiwan is a province of China. They need to respect that there's a commitment by the Australian government of [the] One China Policy and they need to respect the sentiments and the feelings of the 1.4 billion Chinese people," he said.

"I hope they will stick to the One China policy in words and in deed; refrain from engaging with Taiwan in whichever form of capacity so that you will not be politically utilised by people in the island with political motives."

The submarines will use a combat system by US defence company Lockheed Martin Corp and carry US-made torpedoes.

Admiral Huang Shu-kuang, Ms Tsai's security adviser, described the submarines as a "strategic deterrent" that could also help maintain the island's "lifeline" to the Pacific by keeping ports along Taiwan's eastern coast open.

China openly ridiculed Taiwanese hopes for what the submarines could do to defend the island.

“No matter how many weapons the Democratic Progressive Party buys, it will not obstruct the greater trend of reunification with the motherland,” said Senior Colonel Wu Qian, a spokesperson in China's Ministry of National Defense.

Witness Terry Thelwell told ABC Radio Sydney he and his wife were only about two-metres away from where the car landed.

"My wife and I were sitting having lunch on a chair down below on the beach and heard this almighty roar and looked to our left and heard screaming," he said.

"The car … came hurtling across the grass on the promenade at Balmoral, I don't know how she didn't hit anybody,"

"It hit the wall at such speed and the car somersaulted over the wall, smashed the wall completely, it's a hundred-year-old wall, somersaulted on the beach and landed basically two-metres from us."

British comedian Russell Brand has posted a video denying "serious criminal allegations" set to be made against him in an upcoming television program.

"But amidst this litany of astonishing, rather baroque attacks, are some very serious allegations that I absolutely refute," Brand said.

"These allegations pertain to the time when I was working in the mainstream, when I was in the newspapers all the time, when I was in the movies.

"And as I've written about extensively in my books, I was very, very promiscuous. Now, during that time of promiscuity, the relationships I had were absolutely always consensual.

....

ruh roh, Russell.

The Australian Financial Review reported on Thursday that a senior manager at Mr Gurner's wellness and anti-ageing network Saint Haven had sought to assure staff that their founders' comments were not directed at them.

"I want to start by saying I've had the pleasure of working with Tim for almost two years now and can hand on heart say that his care and love for both the Gurner Group and Saint Haven team is immense," the manager reportedly said, adding that Mr Gurner's comments "were in no way directed at our teams".

Gurner Group says its development and management portfolio is worth more than $9.5 billion.

Previous 'smashed avocado' comments were also slammed

Mr Gurner was criticised by many in 2017 when he suggested first homebuyers were struggling to enter the property market because they were "spending $40 a day on smashed avocados and coffee and not working".