Panty liners is honestly a brilliant idea! I used to go sans underpants but uh, tight jeans is not the jam for that. I think having multiple pairs of pants you rotate through+panty liners would be the best bet.

I see what you're saying. I didn't intend to make you feel that you needed to explain yourself in the way you did here; I think after reading through your comments again I understood much more clearly where you were coming from, and I appreciate you expanding on that even further for my benefit. My mind isn't changed completely, but you do make very good points that I'd like to reflect on. I also wasn't under the impression that you were trying to make anyone feel bad, and I'm sorry if I came off that way after this last response. I think a lot of my questions and statements were more rhetorical, I wasn't trying to challenge you or change your mind, genuinely. Sometimes the way I express myself can come off more confrontational than it's meant to be (to the exclusion of my first comment to you that was a dick comment and I feel bad for that). Anyway I respect the disengagement, and I appreciate your effort especially if it was frustrating for you, wish it wasn't

Oh my fucking god I just wrote out a big huge thoughtful response to what you said and to your other comments AND IT ALL GOT DELETED FUCK.

Ugh I really cannot bring myself to type it all up again but I definitely want to say: I wasn't trying to engage in bad faith, and I'm sorry if I came off as inflammatory, I wasn't trying to attack you but the language of your posts rubbed me the wrong way. Either way I do owe you an apology for that so my bad.

I went back and more carefully read through all of your posts. Over all, I definitely agree with your positions in general on exploitation, abuse, objectification, etc. I just disagree that the focus on sex work will ameliorate all of those problems as women and others are objectified and abused outside of sex work, that abuse wouldn't stop if sex work were to stop, violence will be perpetrated in other ways. To me addressing misogyny is the bigger fish to fry as that could either make sex work obsolete, or make it into something safe where people can engage in it with actual consent and agency. But we have no idea what the outcome would be until we are in a position where the impositions of capitalism and the patriarchy are addressed. Also I did appreciate your points about women and misogyny and that got me thinking about women being willing accomplices to men in trying to perpetuate violent oppression against women in order to be "not like the others". I also appreciated your point about treating a hobby as a job and that's something I want to think about, and learn more about necessary vs unnecessary labor.

Trans-women are women and women are not your fetish or kink they are people my friend.

This kinda feels like an insinuation that I don't think trans women are women and that's not my position. I mentioned "people of different genders", I didn't single out trans women in that sentence.

edit: another thought: so I definitely believe that the voices of sex workers should be front and center in these conversations, but under communism, generally, it would be the voice of the greater majority that would dictate what is and isn't good for the group, right? I would assume that the majority of sex workers would want to abolish it since many are forced either by another individual or by economic circumstance. In that case we can absolutely do without it, and that small minority that engage in it because they just enjoy it, should be able to sacrifice it for the betterment of the community.

Double edit: eesh I went back and re-read my comment and yeah that was a rude ass comment, embarrassing

Yeah, paternalism and stigmatization is usually what I see come out of these discussions within Marxist circles online. It's always that drugs and sex work are inherently problematic in any form and that they wouldn't be useful after the revolution, but there will always be a want and need if there are people willing or wanting to engage in the work to provide those things then why should it matter to anyone? Anyway that's where I stand on it, it's just when people start to infringe on others' bodily autonomy and leaning into puritanism I get the ick

I'm curious how many people that respond to these types of posts actually consider themselves sex workers. I feel like having this debate without the voices of the people who participate in it front and center is pointless.

I would not want to pay double for a new car to be able to do half the mileage and instead of just fueling up, having to find a fucking Walmart god knows where and sit in the parking lot for a half hour. Super inconvenient if you plan to do any long distance traveling

Ah okay, I'm super not up to date on the war, i'll look it up

After looking it up:

Like the anarchist flag??

I agree with you, I like that it feels more cozy and there are way fewer trolls/devil's advocate types that I've run into here. And that's from my multiple different accounts that I've test drived on different instances. I personally think that lemmy is too confusing for people to settle into due to the nature of federation and such so its only gonna be people really committed to getting away from mainstream social media that will come over long term.

Beastie Boys - Sabotage My favorite music video of all time, probably

They are so cute I can't stand it! Love this video of them walking around

They may be acting facetious, but "guys" is a gendered term and some folks don't appreciate being referred to as a guy. Just like some people don't like being called "dude". But that's person to person, anyway. To answer your questions from my perspective (I'm a nonbinary millenial fyi)

Your pronouns are whatever feel reflective of your gender. If you feel that you're a cisgendered man (someone who aligns with their gender assigned at birth), then yeah he/him is probably accurate. It's whatever feels most authentic to you.

As for telling people your pronouns, I think it honestly would be really nice for more cisgender dudes to normalize that. It's pretty uncommon for men to do in my experience, and I think it would show that you want to be respectful of gender nonconforming folks. Also if you share first, it may actually help people to feel more comfortable around you, and then they'll likely share theirs so you won't have to ask.

As for pronouns irl I've only really met folks who go by he/him, they/them, or she/her. I am not really deep in the queer community, though, and I think it's more common to find folks who have other different pronouns in those spaces because they feel comfortable using them. It probably also depends on where you live. I live in a pretty queer-friendly town and so trans and other gender nonconforming folks make up a decent chunk of the population.

In conclusion though, I think doing all of the things you just asked about is really great and more men should do. Be a model for other dudes; get people comfy with it because if anyone else gets weird/hostile about it you are in a place of privilege to push back on that, and more of that is needed, especially in the political climate we are living in rn