[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago

The article doesn’t mention which cars unfortunately

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 days ago

I’m just waiting for a single player game to this, I feel like disabling Linux support is the new hot trend making triple AAA games. Like I already know black ops 6 disabled Linux support or will without even googling it

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

It’s all fun and games until Google moves unknown sources to the developer tab

28

So Xfinity was refusing to unlock my device on the basis I was not the first account holder to own the device, I eventually looked into it and the fcc states it should of been unlocked within 60 days of being paid off, and furthermore and that the restriction of me not being the original account holder didn’t seem to be defined by the FCC. I decided to do an FCC complaint and two days later got a call back from Xfinity where they unlocked the phone since it was on my Xfinity account. I have been using the phone with visible but I’m kinda worried could they reverse the unlock in the future?

26

Tap for spoilerSo my transition results have always been mid, i am by no means a model and I hate to say it but i hate that. I wanted that, and it didn’t happen. I do have smallish boobs but things like hips, ass, etc never really happened for me. I struggle a lot mentally with this. I have been questioning if HRT is even actually working for me, I can still cum and I do see it being the same color it was pre HRT, it is usually reduced at the start of my weekly injection, but by the end it’s back and I feel like shit. I am currently on 0.5ml of estradiol cypinate taken once weekly. I am unsure about my levels since while labs said my estradiol levels were at 200pg/ml I am suspicious I may of injected late and forgot it about it, for reference I usually wait a full 7 days between my injection and labs and when I’ve done that at 0.3ml my levels were only 90pg/ml. I just don’t know and plume doesn’t seem overly helpful to me with my issues.

25
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world

CW Major Trigger

spoilerrecently I feel closer and closer to just ending it, I have essentially became aware that all of my friends put me in the outer circle of our friend group, and actively view me as a child. I am autistic but also I feel like my friends view me as disgusting with no real solution of what to do with me, I live with them and the only option I realistically have other than this is to move in with my mom who tends to emotionally depend on me.

I know that I am always the friend but never the best friend, I have no inner circle where I feel like I can talk about my thoughts and how dark things have gotten recently. I feel like if I told my friends it would likely result in me being hospitalized and than having my stuff moved out and kinda told "no one ever liked you and we have felt that way for a really long time". I don't blame them I know I am annoying and socially awkward, I know my depression has lead me to neglect things in my life. Keep in mind this is not me being autistic, many of our friends are ND as well, this is me specifically. Part of the reason I have not tried yet was that I am afraid it will be viewed as emotionally manipulated, the truth of this world is that no one wants to see the social behind and awkward 23 year transfem blow her brains out, but people can think your weird thats their right.

Me being trans is always a side fact, HRT has not done me good, people tell me I look like a women to be nice but in reality I look disgusting, I look like some cringe fetish account you will find on Reddit that everyone equally agrees is disgusting.

People I do talk to on discord from time to time will say I am just overthinking it, since no one has outright said they hate me, or think that. but the truth is i have heard them say "I don't want her to hear xyz" or say thing about me right outside of ear shot.

What's kept me alive other than worrying it will come off as emotionally manipulative to my "friends" is the fact my mom has repeatedly told me over and over she will off herself if I do, it's like a known thing that i cannot avoid. it's guilt I have to carry, I do hate the fact this is true and i carry a ton of guilt and i usually ball my eyes out when I am confronted with this morality problem, but I remember the first time I attempted I overcame this and just accepted that it is what it is. I also do fear death, i don't know what comes after but in that moment I consider that maybe whatever it is I deserve that. I don't deserve to walk this earth anymore. I sometimes watch the sucide ending to cyberpunk, not cause i actually think anyone would care about me like that but I am reminded that no one really cares about me like that.

There was a time when I had dreams and goals in life, I wanted to work in tech, I wanted to get bachelors degree I wanted to have friends, but the truth is I never realized how gross I was until now, I never realized my transition would be a failure, I never realized just how much i got on peoples nerves

I often want to just run away and restart I try to distract myself from reality imaging maybe an internship or anything else to get my life back on track. than maybe buy a car but I know that not really possible anymore

NOTICE TO LEMMY MODERATORS

Hi, I understand your concerns and want to help out, I know in this rare instance you likely think giving my IP to the pigs is a moral good, and that I will get the help I need, the main mental hospital I would go to is currently facing sexual abuse allegations, my roommates would likely kick me out during my stay at the mental hospital assuming that I am not a danger to myself and that it would be much safer to do it at this time. I am currently 9k in debt if you combine credit card, and existing medical debt, with zero income. you doing this would likely add additional financial strain to my already difficult to justify existence. If you do this I would likely be even closer than I already am. and I would likely not vent online next time.

75

I just really hate how my friends label me as a child, they are not 100% NT but way less autistic than me, yesterday she admitted they viewed me as a child, at first she stated that she viewed all of her peers as children since she felt she had more lived experience which is fine she can do whatever she wants. but then we met a new friend who she took a liking to and who she views as an adult, and recently on the way home our friend group got to talking about something and I asked something jokingly. She said rather seriously "Sky, there are some things that stay between adults" I reply I am legitimately a year older than you, she then said rather seriously not in any of the ways that matter. In general, there have been plenty of other times I felt like I was treated as a child, and generally, she and others have capped the level of closeness they have with me to protect me, which in practice only creates an environment where I do not have any close friends at all, I legit usually sob to myself in my room when and think about killing myself. I also understand I am a failure by most traditional metrics, no job, no car, no place, I have been trying to get a job for over 8 months, I wrecked my car 6 months ago, but I am not a fucking child.

I regularly feel like people pretend to be interested in what I am saying since I am being viewed a child and most people do not want to be mean to a child, I just feel like such a loser in general and I really hate the fact I am autistic which is 100% why this keeps happening.

-32

So at the moment Apple hold the 1st place in mobile OS marketshare, I feel the unfortunate thing that will happen as marketshare drops Google will slowly move to supporting projects other than android, and eventually drop support entirely and focus on making better iOS apps, Device makers will start making their own operating systems with tighter locked down appstores in order compete with iOS, we already see this with Amazon planning to switch to a linux based OS in future fire devices.

44

I get suggestions online like do my hair, makeup, etc but as a first time girl I really don’t know where to even start, so I end up doing nothing and looking like a hag and im tired of being treated like crap

47

I’ve been on HRT for two years, why do I still look like a man, why do I still look like this, why is my dystphoria worse than ever. Why do I hate myself so much. Why haven’t I’ve been loved and snuggled. Im just so sad with everything honestly can’t sleep.

53

So as we know Windows Platform Apps and WinUI3 apps do not work on Linux, I keep wondering if Microsoft were to launch a new API let’s say direct X 15 but limit it to Windows Store Apps, and provided a way for the apps to be installed from other stores like steam could they in time kill modern Linux gaming.

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 77 points 8 months ago

I always disliked RCS, I kept telling people it's a walled garden, mainly controlled by Google

29

I know I'm a self hating weirdo but I feel like I should be allowed to feel more cozy in my skin.

A selfie I dislike, and a selfie I can kinda tolorate https://imgur.com/gallery/6R78NUn

20
What could FFS do for me (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I purposely choose a kinda bad selfie, cause honestly this is where I feel my worst but is the most accurate way to access my transition. I've been on HRT since 2022, my levels have been kept at a max of 130 usually around 90 on E, and T is usually around 20. I did switch to injections which so far feels like it's even less effective than pills. (My E level was like 90pg/ml) I'm kinda at a point where I feel like FFS is needed, but I'm unsure what FFS could do for me, what surgeon I would choose etc. I doubt I'll ever have health insurance so I'll likely just need to crowd fund it. https://imgur.com/gallery/p2jmz2u

15

I still look really bad, like nothing has happened, can I Just not expect better results, is this the end of the road. I know people always tell me "your beaitful inside" (im not mad at them) and shit like that

https://imgur.com/a/X3lwaha

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 254 points 1 year ago

The sheer idea of selling a 8gb machine in 2023 is kinda wild

5

Whenever I go to choose a file or folder within a flatpak application such as heroic or lutiris, it either doesn't fill the path of in the case or heroic freezes. One thing to note is in game mode I have less issues as the gtk file picker pops up instead. But in heroic I still can't select an installer for some reason.

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 1 year ago

Honestly I feel like people would pay more for a simple windowsOS, no spyware, no ads, just fucking works as an OS. I already switched to Linux but some people haven't or can't at the moment.

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 1 year ago

Back to the office is such a big scam! Like the only ones defending it are absolute bootlickers to the corporate world. The legit purpose is so they can have mass layoffs without calling it a mass layoff or paying severence.

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 73 points 1 year ago

My issue with RCS is its only open to other device makers, like you can't make RCS apps cause you need a special license. Its a closed system that on android will likely always depend on google

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 61 points 1 year ago

It's so funny watching skumlords scramble!

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 89 points 1 year ago

ugh, this is dysphorian THIS IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL. THIS IS LATE STAGE CAPITALISM

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 192 points 1 year ago

So much for free speech

[-] skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 112 points 1 year ago

I feel like the NTSB need to draft a min spec for self driving cars and a testing course that involves some of the worst circtimstances to get approved. I feel like all self driving cars should have to have lidar, and other sensors. Computer vision really isn't working out.

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skymtf

joined 1 year ago