this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
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I discovered that I identify as demisexual and I think my friend is in love with me. (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by Brandanfinchh@lemmy.world to c/gaybros@lemmy.world
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I've already accepted that I can have sex no matter who it is with. I think that to have sex I need to have a good bond with that girl or boy in this case before having sex.

It took me a while to realize, they sent me links to articles about different types of labels and I realized that I identify with demisexuality.

I am straight, gay for pay and demisexual.

I told my friend about this and he thought that when I said "I'm demisexual, I discovered I prefer having sex with people I'm in a relationship with" I meant in a romantic way. He said "Are you saying we're boyfriend and girlfriend?" very excitedly. I told him that I didn't mean that, I meant a relationship in general, getting to know the person. And I could tell he felt a little bad.

I feel like he has other feelings for me, he's 2 years younger than me, I was a little afraid of doing things with him for fear that he'd fall in love and I think he fell in love with me.

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[–] amos@mander.xyz 1 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I don't want to gatekeep but I had no idea you could be "straight" and "demisexual" at the same time. Demisexual are people for whom primary characteristics (such as body) is not important, they are more about the relationship and emotional connection.

I also fail to understand your conversation with your friend. You have sex with him and enjoy it. You are friends, thus, there is some emotional connection. You are demisexual. Are you attracted to him or not? So confusing.

[–] Brandanfinchh@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Personally, I consider myself heterosexual because I like, am attracted to, and fall in love with women, but not men. However, to have sex with these women, I need a bond, whether romantic or friendship. I need to get to know them, and since I have sex with my roommate, who's also my best friend, for money, I consider myself gay4pay because without money I wouldn't do it, not counting the time he gave me head because I was drunk and let him. And if I didn't have a lasting friendship with him, I wouldn't do it either.

[–] Brandanfinchh@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

It confuses me too, haha. I asked in the GPT chat, and they say you can be straight and demisexual at the same time. To be demisexual, you only need to be in a relationship with someone, not casual sex with strangers. And for a demisexual, the relationship connection doesn't have to be romantic, just a deep and close bond. The GPT chat also says that. I checked it there, haha.