this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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[–] socsa@piefed.social 6 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I didn't learn that adults don't stand to wipe until I was like 17

[–] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You still can if you want, but maybe don't stand to use a bidet.

[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Depends on your water pressure

[–] lucullus@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 week ago

And on the splash zone

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I literally don’t understand how people sit and wipe (no bidet). Do you fucking lay on your side to make this happen? If you’re an adult, the toilet opening isn’t that huge to just shove your arm down there, and wipe and if you’re a man then scooting up to get back there makes your penis touch the nasty ass toilet.

So what’s the solution? A slight hover while bent over? Other than that there’s only standing. I don’t understand how people do this. 😂

[–] AdrianTheFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Just scoot forwards a bit?

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You lean a little. I don't know how to word with without being crass, but I feel like if you're standing the cheeks are together and you can't get in there. 😅

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can’t believe I am writing this crap to strangers online. Ha!

Well, if you’re standing you use a hand to spread a cheek and you wipe with the other. There’s no need to grab the cheek so deep you’re touching anything that would be there, just enough to separate. You can get in there no problem.

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

What if you have a big butt?

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

Ok obviously you know this happens and you know it's stupid and impractical to lay on your side

All the bits that need cleaning are right their up front with just a flat hand extended to get the arch of the backdoor. If you can jerk your rod sitting down then it's only 3 more inches till you're wiping your shitter

So don't pretend it's some kind of acrobatic feat

But my question is, mr. standing wiper, how the fuck do you get to your taint, or do you have to do 2 trips?

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Lol learning a friend of mine still did that when he was like 22 was wild. He got so belligerent and tough and chest poundy when everybody was surprised. It's not weird, really, but I still like to tease him for whatever I can since he's such a cunt most of the time, being 6'5 and jacked and rich and smart and just an asshole in general... And I'm a masochist and he was really hot and towered over me and constantly bullied me 🥵