this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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I have a remote control for time.
You can never find the batteries required to make it work
xkcd.com/1203
but you have to watch time pass in real time. so you can go 50 years into the future, your age will freeze but it'll take you to watch 50 years for every last second. same thing going back just in reverse.
It only takes you to a showing of Titanic when it was still in theatres.
but not our timeline
Every time you fast forward through something, the remote will remember it and always fast forward through that thing happening. While you're fast forwarding you'll be in auto pilot and give boring monotone responses to questions asked.
They should make a movie about that.
It's one of those awful apple TV remote controls. When your hand gets the slightest bit sweaty, you seek all over the place with no precision.
It requires a 1,21Gw-capable battery
Does a capacitor count?
You (un)age as well