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this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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A significant other. I’m 31. You’d think someone I’ve asked out in the past fifteen years would’ve said yes, but I’m just another loser.
I’ve given up and am no longer looking.
Don't give up man_in_space. I had only dated 2 people by 31. I didn't meet my SO until I turned 34.
My mental health can’t take it anymore.
This may not apply to you, but I was once in a similar situation. One day I finally realized that a relationship shouldn't make me happy, it should make me happier.
I think that was quite a turning point and things got better from there for me. I started focusing on myself and finding things I enjoyed. Dates stopped becoming so daunting and I think people noticed that.
Anyway, good luck!
Resilience is sexy and perseverance is key. Go forth and flirt bro.
I’ve tried. On such occasions, I have either responded to signals that I misinterpreted, got ghosted, or never got a response at all.
You know that comic, “Know the Rules”, where the good-looking guy gets flirted back with while the nerd gets H.R. called on him? I’m not the good-looking guy. I have learned it’s better not to engage. I don’t even know what flirting is supposed to be and as a guy in his 30s it’s too late to start.
Perseverance leads to sorrow at best and a reputation of being a creep at worst. No means no; I will take them at their word. I am autistic. I’m not taking that chance.
"I'm sorry. I am autistic and might've misunderstood your signals. But would you possibly like to go out for a coffee some day?"
Then you've covered your ass. They know you're shit at signals and further know to not speak cryptic to you. They also know that you're interested and have a choice of just saying "No I'm sorry" without being cornered.
More often than not, I am wrong, and if I reply to everyone like that I will garner the reputation of being a girl-crazy freak/creep. I cannot afford to suffer that.
Invest in yourself and get your ass online.
There's no excuse being single unless you're putting in absolutely no effort that to make yourself attractive in any way possible for a SO.
You can be fugly and with a personality you will still pull.
You can be Brad Pitt with no personality and you will still pull.
Most importantly, shotgun blast your asking out girls and be used to rejection.
Replying to you again because your comment does not sit well with me.
Do you realize how anti-productive and cruel this remark is? I’ve tried. I have TRIED. And it implies that I am owed companionship. That is incel logic.
I’ve tried multiple online dating platforms, including:
I also attempted to use a matchmaking service, It’s Just Lunch.