this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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A potion of True Healing... heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don't tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.
Boots of Elvenkind... except Elves can hear you.
A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.
There's so much role playing potential in the ability to create a giant mob of clowns at will by repeatedly opening and closing the bag. You almost don't need anything else!
Spawn them as a distraction!
Use them to hide!
Plug any entry or hallway at will!
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies! (Eaten fresh off your face.)
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship!
Air drop them on your enemies! (Assuming they have a weight and are bound by gravity, they do damage - all you need is a bit of levitation, a tower, airship or a ceiling to hang from.)
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
The possibilities are truly endless.
Herd them ahead of you to clear traps
As a diabolical GM, I can think of so many ways to make these strategies backfire. :D
That's half the fun! Sometimes, the true clown you spawn is yourself.
I can't see any of these working as intended. Clowns don't subscribe to reality
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don't want to be seen.
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes...
Shaving cream pies. Ain't nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
See balloons
Clown car logic. You're all "crushed" but it's just extremely difficult terrain.
Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what's their EXP value?
Immortal Clowns of Jest. Zero XP and their death only fuels development of further abilities
They just despawn and it's 1/10^(78) xp per clown.
A fraction of 1 EP for each atom in the universe.
If my PCs responded to the clowns this way, I would absolutely make the clowns demons and the "bag of holding" a portal to a circus themed layer of the Abyss. And that's the campaign now.
It turns out the ruler of this layer of the abyss appreciates your lust for violence and mass murder. That's probably not actually... good? For you?
I don't know about you, but the prospect of becoming a warlock themed around blood, flesh and clownery sounds pretty sweet to me!
I'd definitely play that campaign.
I would definitely let you play that in my campaign. Also reminds me of that bad guy from One Piece.
Exactly this. Also, one of the clowns will have a trombone to play sad trombone noises at you.
Relevant (semi-NSFL) scene from Invincible season 3.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD4X1RZ9ipE
Jesus...
That's certainly not great, but this show has way worse.
Sell the bag to a lich to keep him from robbing graves, collect big $$$ for the unique magic item, and the bounty from the town
Probably bad that without the parentheses, I was already assuming this was some kind of horrific Sweeny Todd situation.
No, but the pies are a bit off, so they always give you the runs.
That's just practical thinking right here! Someone else argued for shaving cream pies, which naturally leads to the counterpoint of cannibalism.