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New iPhone 15 Includes 12 Animal Sounds And Colorful Lever
(www.theonion.com)
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
You really have to be a normie to buy an iPhone...
If by “normie” you mean “normal person” then sure, I guess…
Nah, you just have to want to treat your phone as an appliance rather than yet another computer to fuck around with.
…and it helps when the friends & family around you are normies overwhelmingly using Apple devices, lol.
I have five PCs, two RPis, some laptops, gigabit, multiple switches running shit all across my house…
Or a phone, I want something I touch and it work good. I don’t want to have to fuck with it, I don’t want to have to get new ones often (this one is five years old) and I don’t use Google anything (privacy.)
I don’t have any other choice. Also iOS is dope.
Downvoted specifically for "I don't have any other choice."
Oh no not the downvotes!
What’s my other fucking choice then?
Whale ink, goat feather and rice paper
Rice doesn’t have paper.
Ah yes, degoogling for privacy by using apple product
Out of any company out there, Apple is the least shitty for privacy.
Thank ya! I heavily appreciate the 0 minutes of maintenance I do on iOS. I’m not a fan of iTunes but fucking full-ass encrypted incremental backups whenever I’m home? That’s pretty awesome.
Oh it’s been five years and I finally would like a new one? Ooo backup restored it’s the SAME EXPERIENCE I had before.
Never deleted a text since 2013? That’s fine, iOS doesn’t give a fuck.
20k pics and videos? Sounds good to me! I’ll run like normal.
Phone five years old? Guess I’ll run as fast as many new phones, oh and you’re up to date on security updates.
They ARE spendy phones, but they’re also insanely high end and last soooo long. Then the whole privacy thing.
I had the first Android phone, the G1. Then I got the G2. Then after playing with my partner’s iPhone for ten minutes after they got it, realizing the on-screen keyboard actually WORKED, and just how smooth everything was… made the switch the next day. Never going back (also can’t, if I don’t use google stuff anymore)