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this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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I'm in the same boat as you. I was more understanding before I had a child. I thought, you can forget your phone, autopilot, all other excuses. But after having two, there's no fucking way I'd ever forget them. They're always on my mind and the first thing I think of whenever I'm doing anything. I check on my children while driving too
Edit: I understand how easy it is to get into autopilot, and having understood that I do everything I can to change my routine. We take different routes, we stop and do something on the way, etc. But I realize that I'm speaking from a place of privilege where I can do these things and not everyone can. I recognize that it can happen to me, and I pray it doesn't. I truly am sorry for this families loss. No one should ever outlive their child.
Looks like a bunch of people (I'm guessing non-parents) disagree.
The whole idea of forgetting a baby is in the car is insane. Like I said, even if it is true, this person is not fit to take care of a baby and that baby had a good chance of dying some other way.
I am a parent and disagree. Surprised myself at least twice by arriving at work and seeing her still in the seat while grabbing the sun shade. Could have sworn that she had been dropped off both times.
People aren't perfect, and something being important doesn't mean people suddenly become perfect. The fact that it is as rare as it is now is a sign that people take it seriously, but people make mistakes no matter how important the thing is.
Not insane at all. Child seats should be rear facing for quite a while and if the kid is asleep, they are not making any sounds. A big deviation from your routine can seriously fuck up remembering basic things. I personally have a mirror strapped to the rear headrest to avoid anything like that since I can see her every time I check my rear view mirror. But I've had people warn me how dangerous those are because it is an extra thing to break off in an accident. I'd rather take that risk than accidentally leave my child in a hot car.
From the Pulitzer article (please read it):
You posted the article after I posed the above comment. I have read it.
Edit: to the downvoters: should I have not read it? Because I get you downvoting the previous comments but I'm not sure what your problem is with this one.
Yes, again, I read it. You showed I was wrong. I'm not sure what you or anyone else wants from me.
Just came along. Presumably most people read your 1st comment (which is horrifyingly unempathethic, TBH) and didn't really follow the rest of the discussion
Maybe, but people even seem to be unhappy with me admitting I'm wrong in multiple replies. Like the one you responded to.
Like I said, I don't know what they want from me. I can't unwrite the post. I don't have a time machine.
It's actually pretty vague, since only one of your comments seem to actually acknowledge you having read the article, and none of your comments indicate it changed your opinion (one about you having the capability to be wrong, but I can't tell whether you're saying you were wrong in this case, or just a general rhetorical device).
I'm not judging you here, I'm pointing out there might be a huge disconnect between what you think you've said and what's actually coming across that would explain the reception you're getting.
I'm not sure how I'm coming across as anything but just sincerely admitting I'm wrong here:
I didn't put that edit up until multiple downvotes already were given there.
People don't like it when I'm wrong and they also don't like it when I say I'm wrong.
That's what I'm trying to tell you, it doesn't come across as an admission, at least to me. I get what you're trying to say, but that's not the first impression it conveys
I don't know how that is not an admission, but what about this one?
Still not an admission?
OMG... read the article. j/k
It's Ok. I think it's easy to dismiss obvious situations such as these, but as a tired parent I can tell you the mind will play tricks on you. I always triple check everything because I know I'm already exhausted. I can't fault another parent for a mistake though.
We want you to go back on time and stop your former self from making the initial comment obviously. /s 🙂
Perhaps you could edit your first comment, otherwise people won't know that you see things differently now.
I think that would be dishonest of me. I'd rather people see that I said something incorrect, especially when it's something people commonly get wrong according to the provided article.
You can certainly keep the original comment, just with an addendum. Of course you don't have to, but it could prevent further misunderstanding