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Ted Cruz's secret playbook found in Senate refectory — and posted online (www.rawstory.com)

submitted 4 months ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

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[-] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 108 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Having to grovel for money and spend a lot of your working life strategizing how you can extract enough money from rich people, to pay for your next campaign, is a far too large part of every single congressperson’s agenda.

It’s not optional and it is time consuming and humiliating and it automatically puts a bunch of power in the hands of rich people instead of voters. It’s for real a little bit confusing to me why the congresspeople don’t put a stop to it (publicly funded elections).

[-] LimeZest@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 4 months ago

The ones who are in congress are the ones who are good at successfully navigating this system of campaigning. They don’t want to level the playing field for opponents who don’t have a strong network of rich donors ready to boost them.

[-] Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 4 months ago

Because most (if not all) members of congress love to beg for money from rich people and are really good at it. It’s the reason they became congress members in the first place. Public funded elections would never be as profitable for them.

[-] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 7 points 4 months ago

Maybe. The way I’ve heard it explained is that it’s time consuming and humiliating for almost everyone though. Here’s the first random story I could find. I’m clearly missing something, though, since they clearly aren’t putting a stop to it, so maybe you are correct and it’s only the scrubs that have to go to the call center.

[-] Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 4 months ago

The system gets what it breeds… When fundraising is so important you will automatically get congress members with no integrity who already had rich friends or who have great ass kiss abilities. This is just another symptom of the failing of ‘democracy’ that’s bound to happen in a society with class inequality. The dominating class will always use their means to turn the odds in favour of their own needs.

[-] Hominine@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

To the phonebank!

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

Because if you’re good at it you get rich yourself.

[-] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

And get to tell junior congresspeople to get out and bring in $18,000 a day for you and your friends to use to elect more friends to office, which you then use to enrich yourself on a scale that makes the $18k/day look paltry.

I don’t know for sure but I can buy it. It would explain a lot.

[-] just_another_person@lemmy.world 73 points 4 months ago

Fuck Ted Cruz.

[-] PenguinMage@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago

A very popular opinion, and one I never get tired of seeing!

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Make sure to use protection! Wouldn’t want to come away with what he has…

[-] dogsnest@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

His ugly wife did!

[-] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 40 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Cruz said, "there are many, many wonderful, wonderful working men and women in the state of New York, but everyone understands that the values in New York City are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro- gay-marriage, [and] focus around money and the media.”

Said the podcast host who is begging billionaires for money. Fuck this waste of skin.

[-] Treczoks@lemmy.world 31 points 4 months ago

If politicians were that busy taking care of their actual job of representing their voters, things would probably be way better in the US. Regardless of party affiliacion.

[-] 555@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago

“The secret playbook” a novel by Ted Cruz.

Teddy loved football, but wasn’t very good at it. He thought he could never help his college football team win the big game. Then one day Coach Thick caught Teddy sniffing used jock straps and introduced him to the rest of the boys. Now that Teddy is the new “tight end” in the locker room, he can finally prove he is the Most Valuable Pussy.

[-] krashmo@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

What the fuck

[-] undefined@links.hackliberty.org 12 points 4 months ago

Yeah this is just gross

[-] 555@lemmy.world -4 points 4 months ago

Squeal, piggy.

[-] Evkob@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 months ago

This kind of weaponized homophobia does more to hurt queer people than it does to hurt the Ted Cruzes of the world.

It just gives off middle-school bully yelling "Ur gay!!". I'd much rather we criticize Cruz over his pathetic ideology.

[-] 555@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Well I’m actually gay. So…

[-] Evkob@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago

So what? Doesn't change a thing about what I said.

[-] 555@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Well, most people see the humor.

[-] Evkob@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 months ago

The "humour" in what you wrote is based on the idea that being gay is something to be ashamed of. I understand that this reflects Cruz's views on homosexuality, but you're just indirectly perpetuating those homophobic ideas.

[-] 555@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

I’m sorry you were offended, but humor can often be offensive.

It was to suggest that Ted Cruz, like most Republicans are just closet homosexuals. There’s nothing bad about being homosexual, but there certainly is something bad about speaking out against them and then getting your dick sucked at an airport bathroom. Or in this case a poorly written “self published erotic novel.”

My point is to mock him and others like him for their hypocrisy. Most people find it funny, because they understand it’s a joke at that little fuckers expense. Unless you are Republican… Then I can understand why you might be offended.

Now that I have explained my intention and you no longer have a reason to be offended, lighten up and get a giggle out of it.

[-] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 months ago

Wow homophobia.

Thats cool

[-] 555@lemmy.world -4 points 4 months ago

I’m gay.

[-] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 months ago

Doesnt matter

[-] 555@lemmy.world -2 points 4 months ago

Sure it does.

[-] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

"I have black friends."

[-] 555@lemmy.world -1 points 4 months ago

False equivalence

[-] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago

Play #1: Fly to Cancún

Play #2: ???

[-] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm pretty sure I know what his play book said, based on his career up to this point...

Step 1: be a total shitheel in college so everyone there hates you.

Step 2: enter politics through family connections, but make sure to lie about your name so you sound more Caucasian and win over your racist voter base.

Step 3: grandstand so much over stupid shit that you become the target of meme conspiracies.

Step 4: run for the presidency against a vindictive, malignant narcissist conman. Make sure to disparage him at every turn to try to make yourself look better.

Step 5: grovel and ingratiate yourself into abject humiliation to said vindictive malignant narcissist conman when he beats you to the party nomination and unleashes political hell on you (and calls your wife ugly).

Step 6: become despised by your own children for continuing to be a total shitheel and a failure of a parent.

Step 7: run away to Cancun during an emergency and when your constituents need you most. Side note: make sure to drag your kids there with you in case it makes them hate you any less. (Spoiler alert: they will just hate you even more for doing that, but oh well!)

Step 8: align yourself with the lunatic fringe of your party, even though they despise you and mock you behind your back.

Step 9: cling on desperately to your current political office for the rest of your pathetic career, knowing you have already peaked and that nobody outside some gullible constituents currently or will ever like or respect you.

[-] joekar1990@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

Step 10: Lose political office and make a huge deal out of it. Complain of a rigged election, but actually be happy about results and get into lobbying?

[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

Spoiler alert:

https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/

[-] ampedwolfman@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

This is only what they assume it to be. They are still having issues deciphering his weird lizard man script.

this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024

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