I wonder if all the other options actually had backbones? I know the one supreme deciding factor for Trump's pick: "will you do as I say and deny the results of the election and anything else I ask you to do that isn't above board?"

I think there might be more pences out there than we think so Vance might have been one of a few on a short list that filled that criteria. Plus I'm sure Trump liked the look of him.

I hadn't heard that venmo story, gotta love the self owns, here it is: https://www.wired.com/story/jd-vance-venmo/

That's more than Mike Pence ever managed.

He truly is Trump’s successor, rambling about incoherent nonsense is a staple of a Trump rally. My favorite has to be his many rants about toilets not flushing.

Americans 👏 consume 👏 high 👏 fructose 👏 corn 👏 syrup

Diet Mountain Dew tastes like absolute trash. It's like they just replaced the pound of sugar in each bottle with an equal amount of bitter aspartame with no other recipe adjustments.

"They're never satisfied, I mutter the n-word while I drink coke, racist! I mutter DEI n-word while drinking Pepsi, racist! I put my foot on the throat of my black maid for fun while drinking sprite, racist! The left has lost their n-word minds! Oops they'll call me racist for that too! Unbelievable!"

1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life's work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades

Leaded gasoline is my guess. We put so much brain damaging shit into the air that decent portions of a couple generations have mental issues like this.

A good percentage of the current republican politicians are too young to have directly had their brains damaged by that, but their parents and the constituents they're trying to woo all had the damage, so it's likely either they were traumatized by their parents or they're just being stupid to seem more relatable to the constituents.

Ok, I’ll bite, what’s the problem with Vance’s wife? Is she black or Jewish or something else not white evangelical?

Mr PAB.

I've joked for years drinking diet mnt dew on purpose is a cry for help. This only confirms my position.

Can-paigning

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was several orders of magnitude a better president than any of these chucklefucks could ever hope to be. He saw his country had a problem he didn't know how to solve so he found the smartest person he could, asked him what to do, and then did it even when it sounded crazy to him and his entire cabinet. We would all be a lot better off if we had more presidents like Camacho and less like Trump.

“I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

...smooth-talking?

He looks like a guy who left his parents’ basement and, blinded by the sunlight, accidentally stumbled into a tailor’s shop.

Fuck you, don't disrespect the dew.