Ass cheeks were shit tanks.

Old people were always old

The crust on bread had more nutrients than the center. My dad didn’t want to cut my crusts off lol.

My uncle always swapped the words breast and best so my cousin mixes them up sometimes to this day. He said ‘breast friend’ at his brother’s wedding

when i was a child, i was told that i would get worms if i ate raw brown sugar. i believed this for quite some time at least until i was 12.

That god(s) exist(s).

That there was a disembodied head that lived in the toilet at night.

That, despite my feelings and emotions at the time, I would never be a girl. So, that was a fucking lie.

That I could dig to China

When I was six years old or so, my sister called me a "cosweb" and told me it was the worst thing ever. I completely believed her for a long time.

That all large salty bodies of water were called "the mediterranean sea."

That the Mormon god was totally real

I do not know where I got this from, but I thought all dogs were male and all cats were female. I thought this while I had a dog named Betsy and a cat named Sebastian.

If that's not bad enough on its own, I think I was in first or second grade when I learned the surprising truth. I wasn't a dumb kid, either. I learned to read when I was about 3.5 yrs old and started 1st grade as a 5 yr old.

I'm now in my 70s and I still can't figure out where I got that from!

Trees make wind because whenever there was wind, they moved.

I thought the moon had a face. Like, as a kid, I would look at the moon and in my mind the craters formed what clearly seemed as two eyes and a mouth.

You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it and try hard enough.

Hiccups mean youre growing.

Thanks parents.

I thought chocolate was a color

That Africa was largely unexplored by humans and mostly unpopulated

That if we didn't have enough money we could just go to the ATM and get more.

Also, when I was very young, I apparently spent too long in the toilet once and one of my parents (don't recall which) asked me if I'd fallen down the hole.
It took me shitting myself at school months later for them to find out that I'd been terrified of falling into the toilet (and avoiding using it as much and for as long as I could, or, in that particular occasion, longer) since that day.
(I was small but not that small, obviously, but kids can be surprisingly dumb for how surprisingly smart they are.)

That the ice crystals on popsicles were bad for you and only girls could eat them cuz they were immune to the koodies

That Pluto is a planet.