The latter I guess? Because at least for the former, you tried.

surely having a low self-esteem is worse. life goes on. why bother over that one single log when you've got all the forest to explore?

Go all in. See your crush with someone else, confess your feelings to them loudly and in front of their current partner, ugly cry when it goes badly. Leave telling them you'll wait for them. Text the partner later to say "nothing personal, I'm the right person for Crush and we both know it".

Let me think, is there anything else one could do to make it more desperate and toxic? Without crossing into actual criminal harassment and stalking of course.

Being rejected the first few times is very unpleasant but very important to go from child to adult.

You tried and you'll get a high five from me, a complete stranger on the internet.

Seeing your crush with someone else will teach you the lesson to kill off non mutual feelings and move on. An important lesson but you did not choose to be brave and take it.

As for what feels the worst in the moment that depends on context and how many times you've had it happen before.

I've experienced both.

I worked up the courage to ask her out after some of her friends assured me she was single, and said I had a good chance.

She was great about it, said she was flattered and let me down gently with the "oh, I would, but sorry I have a boyfriend" line. I thought it was an excuse to soften the rejection.

A week later I saw her walking on campus holding hands with a guy, and later I saw her in class sitting on his lap. Turns out she really did have a secret boyfriend for almost a month that she didn't tell her friends about, but after she said it to me, she felt she could make it public.

To answer your question, getting rejected was not as bad as I thought, but seeing her with someone else was unexpectedly worse for me.

I dropped out of that uni at the end of the semester and never saw her again, but still occasionally think about her.

maybe stop coveting someone you don't know well enough and doesn't know you well enough. if you're interested, show some interest, but not a lot too early.

Probably being rejected. I mean, both are bad, but the former definitely is much worse. If you are rejected explicitly, you know there's no chance. With the latter, they might break up and maybe you can become lovers. It's fairly easy to manipulate someone when they are emotionally vulnerable. Not that I am saying you should do that, just information.

Getting rejected because you know three will be no future, while if your crush is with someone else, you can still hope to have a chance in the future.
But in the end, either way it's s bad day.

Being rejected is worse. It's so definitive. Seeing them with someone else is just seeing them live their life, it has nothing to do with me. Being rejected always feels personal.

Crushes are non-consensual. Getting rejected is definitely the best, because that is the first step to getting over an unhealthy obsession.

Neither is bad.

When knowing a rejection is destined, I would rather disappear and see the crush be with someone else. A hope which has been shot down is a scar for life, whereas an attempt never made painfully warms my heart forever.

Rejection hurts but I still feel good about myself for making the first move. It reminds me I have the guts to try again with a new person.

Seeing them with someone else sucks because it reminds me I dragged my feet and didn't even try.

Get rejected, then see your crush with someone else

See your crush with someone else, then get rejected

I'm always proud of the people in my life making good healthy decisions for themselves.

They tend to go hand-in-hand, pun intended.

I'm polyamorous so my crush would probably be polyamorous as well, so the second situation doesn't really matter. But being rejected just means you know they don't see you that way and you can move on, so it's not that bad anyway. It can be unpleasant in the moment but its part of the human experience

Oh man. The crushes I've gone through. Some I've helped set up after they rejected me.

Some are bittersweet though. I'm always so happy that they've found someone that makes them happy but sad that our friendship dwindled as a result.

I order to get something, you have to learn to let go first.

If I have absolutely no clue how they'd react, I'd say seeing your crush because at least with rejection you won't have any of those what could have been doubts that you would if you never asked in the first place.