I mean if we’re making up fantasy outcomes, why not just ban conservatism?

The electoral college is never, ever, ever going away

But seriously: this is why Harris lost. You people would rather sit around on the internet mocking some dumbfuck for not voting the way you demanded than spend a half second looking at yourself and figure out why telling people they’re stupid didn’t turn into votes.

If half of America is stupid racist misogynists then you either need to figure out what you have in common with them, or you need to get comfortable the other way of neutralizing them.

Nazis didn’t stop Nazi-ing because liberals elected a center-right candidate. They stopped because a million Communist men died shooting a million Nazi men in Stalingrad. Mussolini didn’t leave office because he was sad someone called him weird, he left because Audisio shot him and strung him up with piano wire

I wish we could just hand wave the bad people away, but that’s not how the world works. If you think that having to drive to another state to get an abortion is a “dark future,” you need to get a history book

What? Windows has sucked for like 20 years. Google turned to shit when they got rid of “don’t be evil”

Why now and not in 2016?

Stock

Trump has had 3 wives and at least one additional mistress we know of. There are literally women who wear “you can grab my pussy” shirts

How are you this out of touch with reality?

So… MGTOW for women?

Okay, bye

I use Comcast because I have one choice and it’s Comcast

Plus that whole thing where record companies got caught price-fixing CDs. And the other thing where they got caught installing rootkits from CDs

A group of pale, unhealthy humanoids approach. There are armed with Orange Julius and wearing JNCO jeans

Roll for initiative

Any manager high up enough to be talking on a news channel doesn’t have the degree of interaction with workers to know what they think.

Source: every job I’ve ever had

Fuck yeah I am, now get out of bed, we’re gonna be on the trail by dawn

On one hand, I think that kind of shit is lame AF, but on the other hand if someone wanted pay me $200/hr to paint my hog green and vacuum in green Luigi hat, you know I’d be down