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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21517567

Summary

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.

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[-] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 82 points 6 days ago

Best part is left out of the headline. He was in bed with four dogs at the time.

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 16 points 6 days ago

Because that's the punchline. Only when he says it, he has a straight face. He should do standup.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

I mean I can't fault him there. My wife and I share a bed with two dogs.

[-] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 24 points 6 days ago

That wasn't my point. My animals are allowed in my bed too. But if I woke up with scratches I wouldn't leap to demon.

[-] riffy@lemm.ee 3 points 5 days ago

True, I'm not saying it's aliens but... It's got to be aliens.

[-] shutz@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

Were they female? 'Cause you know, when you get in bed with four bitches...

[-] makyo@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago

Hopefully she comes back to finish the job

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

His wife tried to bobbit him.

[-] TTH4P@lemm.ee 19 points 6 days ago

Doesn't he admit to sleeping with various puppies and dogs though?

[-] Arbiter@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago
[-] zyratoxx@lemm.ee 6 points 6 days ago
[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)
[-] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago

I don't want to live in this timeliness anymore. Can tuckers demons kill me plz

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

Can tuckers demons kill ~~me~~ tucker plz

I have no idea what kind of person you are, but your name isn't plastered all over articles seeking to damage communities in the US, so by that alone you're orders of magnitude more valuable then Tucker. I vote the demons go straight to the source on this one - no need for you to go down with it.

[-] HeadfullofSoup@kbin.earth 9 points 6 days ago

When you have so little moral even demons want to get out

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago
[-] zoostation@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Heather Langenkamp word balloon

[-] timewarp@lemmy.world -1 points 6 days ago

That guy is gayer than Lindsay Graham. In fact, the demon might have been Lindsay Graham.

this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
161 points (96.5% liked)

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