this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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Not the Onion

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Florida police arrested a 27-year-old Jewish man, Mordechai Brafman, on suspicion of attempting to murder two men he believed were Palestinian. The victims were an Israeli father and son visiting from Israel.

According to investigators, Brafman overtook their car in Miami Beach, made a U-turn, exited his vehicle and fired 17 shots at them. Local authorities said Brafman didn’t know the victims and there was no prior confrontation between the sides.

Brafman drove home after the shooting and was arrested shortly after. He is charged with attempted murder. While police have not officially determined a motive, they said: “It should be noted that, while in custody in our interview room, the defendant spontaneously stated that while he was driving his truck, he saw two Palestinians and shot and killed both. The victims and the defendant do not know each other,” Police added that he told investigators he had killed them.

Brafman, a married plumber, was interviewed last year by Florida media after vandals targeted a Miami Beach bagel shop displaying an Israeli flag. "It's just horrifying," he said at the time. "I’d like to see more unity, for people to fight less with each other and be more together."

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[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 126 points 4 months ago (3 children)

"Sorry guys, I thought they were Palestinian!"

Didn't realize that's a valid excuse to do a murder these days

[–] HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml 40 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

"I thought they were untermensch, honest mistake"

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Apparently, one of the guys shot concluded his statement about being shot with "death to Arabs" or something to that effect, so they might just accept that excuse.

[–] HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Gets shot by Zionist terrorist

"Why would Arabs do this?"

[–] SirQuackTheDuck@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago

If the president is using it, who is to stop the civilians?

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Well tbf that depends on your definition of "valid excuse." He's probably not getting acquitted with this defense, and even if he does that only means it worked to convince those twelve dingleberries on his jury, not that it'll work every time.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 106 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The fact that they went with neither “Florida man” or “Jewish Man” but instead “Florida Jew” is just hysterical for better or for worse

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Florida Jew" reminds me of "Rare Deepwater Jew" from somethingawful.com https://www.somethingawful.com/news/fur-trapper-promise/

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[–] Pogogunner@sopuli.xyz 101 points 4 months ago

I would say typical zionist, but we don't have evidence that the American government paid for his weapon and ammo

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 63 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The jokes write themselves.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 4 months ago

First out-loud chuckle of the day. Keen wit. Well done.

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 49 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

This is the key part that makes it The Onion material:

From, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/17/miami-shooting-israeli-men

...one of the injured men reportedly posted “death to the Arabs” in a message on social media after the shooting. “My father and I went through a murder attempt against antisemitic background,” he wrote.

Jewish man shoots at Israelis because he thought that they were Palestinians. Israeli victims claimed that they were victims of an "antisemitic" attack and post "death to the Arabs".

The deeper irony is that these men were the victims of an antisemitic attack. They were targeted because they were thought to be Palestinians who are also a Semitic people and yet they seem to share the same prejudice as their attacker.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 4 months ago

Fucking clown world.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 49 points 4 months ago (4 children)

He fired 17 times and it's still just an injury? Oof.

Also someone needs to figure out if there's something in Floridian drinking water.

[–] dnick@sh.itjust.works 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Supposedly it not necessarily a Florida thing to be particularly crazy, just that there are fewer protections against reporting and publishing people's names in Florida.

It's like the US version of 'boy, there doesn't seem to be much rape in this country where it's illegal for women to accuse men of rape, but there is a lot of it in the country next to it where it isn't illegal for women to file police reports. Making it illegal to report rape must significantly decrease it!'

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 months ago

Yep, it's Florida's Government in the Sunshine law. Everything the government of the state is involved with is public, including arrests. I'd love to see it adopted nationwide.

[–] Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago

Nah, this was just a Zionist being a Zionist. They're crazy fucks. Luckily his Florida only made him a terrible shot.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

For every 10,000 guns in America, there's 1 person with training.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can't even tell if that's a joke

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

It is a joke, it far overestimates the number of trained individuals...

[–] accideath@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Lead. There’s lead in the water.

[–] Magnus@lemmy.ml 47 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if he’ll be tried as a terrorist. I feel like any other violent ideological act like this would be.

[–] purplemeowanon@lemmy.ml 23 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I think hate crime would be the most appropriate charge.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 4 months ago (5 children)

I think they may have said that because the state of Florida sought terrorism charges when a lady told a healthcare member they'd be next after the Luigi thing.

Which also seems like it'd fall more under hate, but hard to say.

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[–] Magnus@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 months ago

Idk I feel like if this had been a Muslim guy the charge would be very different but I’m no lawyer so maybe you’re right, either way it’s a fucked up story.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Those are both generally enhancements/reclassifications to a charge not charges in and of themselves. In Florida it's "775.085 Evidencing prejudice while committing offense; reclassification.—".

Weird way to spell pardoned

[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 42 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

adventures of Florida jew

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Is that his mugshot? The fuck is he smiling for?

Edit: I didn't realize it was taken before he learned the outcome of his actions. What a fucking loser.

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 47 points 4 months ago (1 children)

In his mind he just murdered two people he considers inferior and wants to genocide.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 28 points 4 months ago

In his statement to the police, exactly this.

He had not yet learned the facts that:

  1. They survived

  2. They're (non-Palestinian) Israelis

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago

Dumbass uses Hate Crime...

...

...

It hurt itself in its confusion!

[–] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It should be noted that the people he shot took to social media to post "Death to Arabs"

[–] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 4 months ago

fr, mfer you got shot because you didnt pass the US foreign policy and you go post that lenin facepalm

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[–] FolknForage@lemm.ee 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Least deranged Jewish Trumper

[–] geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml 10 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Biden and Trump based their entire campaign around winning this singular person's vote.

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[–] Pili@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

DIY Hannibal directive

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