this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2025
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Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 82 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"You're gay because you like men. I'm gay because I hate women."

[–] Retreaux@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] SatyrSack@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is there some joke regarding how this is animated?

[–] Retreaux@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It came from my crappy keyboards built in gif selection I apologize for the mild epilepsy it looked smoother in the preview

[–] SatyrSack@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It looks fine, I just feel like I am missing a layer of the joke

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 week ago
[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 9 points 1 week ago

*Peter Thiel enters the chat*

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jesus who gives a fuck, seriously.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Steve@communick.news 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sometimes people don't pay attention to the community a post is in.

[–] pantyhosewimp@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 week ago

See, I was thinking that, even in the context of a group of threads about real life headlines that are so absurd that they sound satirical, this person was letting us know they don’t want to read about celebrity gossip.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Apparently it's unpopular to point that out.

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Someone not having sex isn't usually an interesting story.

[–] theOneTrueSpoon@feddit.uk 6 points 1 week ago

Did he eat the guy afterwards?

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 4 points 1 week ago

"Still undecided"