this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip 148 points 2 months ago (6 children)

"Pull forward after fueling or get shot"?

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 84 points 2 months ago (16 children)

Station owner sounds like a fake tough guy who cries about DEI.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 31 points 2 months ago

So a standard Trump supporter?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Sure, he's like that on the surface, but I bet his station is willing to accept huge, suggestively shaped loads, if you know what I mean.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm just imagining some trucker who didn't see the sign walking into the store to buy some snacks

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It isn't the owner going to be doing the shooting. It's the guy stuck waiting behind an empty truck. That's the joke.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you say so, and obviously that trucker couldn't shoot the guy walking out with snacks.

That's impossible.

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[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 4 points 2 months ago

Maybe, but not based on the sign. That's a standard trucker joke about waiting for pumps.

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[–] False@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

"Sorry, my cock is too big for that"

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (5 children)

It's a joke about truckers that fuel and then fuck around while the guy behind them is fuming with impatience. LOL, I've been that guy.

"OH FFS MOVE!"

Besides, truckers are on more of a schedule than the rest of us tooling around.

[–] YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago

Thank you! This makes the most sense. I was wondering what was wrong with "please pull forward when done fueling" without threatening violence. A common annoyance plus and inside joke makes a lot more sense.

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[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Guessing Texas

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Probably flu shot, maybe Covid booster?

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 81 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, they said discrete. Each mammoth dildo is individually wrapped.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Ah, -screte/-screet. Motherfucker.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago
[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 67 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's just the latest Bezos rocket under wraps. The final version will achieve perfect penis proportions for getting deep into space.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 23 points 2 months ago

assuming it doesn’t just blow its load all over the Caribbean

[–] tacofox@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

BREAKING: “Dr.Evil is suing Jeff Bezos for IP infringement. Dr.Evil gives statement on the matter. - “What’s next freaking lasers on freaking sharks!?”” More at 11pm.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jeff Bezos is just Dr. Evil without the education.

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[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Dr. Evil demands compensation of

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is it legal to shot someone after you post a sign?

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 9 points 2 months ago

yep, double tap recommended at a gas station

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 28 points 2 months ago

That's contraband in the state of Texas.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

LPT.

If you're using a toy that big, the neighbors and the police already know what's going on

Responding for a friend

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Life Pro Tip.

[–] elannasdad@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

"It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else."

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's the dildo of consequence heading for D.C. I hope it gets there soon.

[–] mondomon@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

The dildo of consequence ALWAYS arrives un-lubed.

[–] jrwperformance@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What is it actually? Is it some price of industrial equipment that just happens to look like a Johnson? Or is it part of a parade float or something?

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What is that thing in the sky? It looks like a huge...

JOHNSON!

Yes sir?

[–] Nightweb@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this

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[–] perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Maybe a planter? Something like this which folds out to this.

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate the effort but i kinda hope that the satanic temple or someone is up to some epic trolling instead

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago

I wonder if this is Nevada, where you see them transporting military equipment on trucks all the time. Like missiles and bombs. Wondering if someone got creative with the covering.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope your mom is enjoying her new dildo.

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[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Paging Dr. Evil.

[–] MECHAGODZILLA2@midwest.social 7 points 2 months ago

Just FYI if your package is “discrete” your delivery person is “discretely” laughing at you

[–] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

Ma! MA!! Ma, yer mail's here!

[–] blandfordforever@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Seems like my package has been delayed in transit!

[–] friendlycheese@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Stolen from the Celina 52 truck stop facebook page.

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[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

🎶 Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June

In a Kenworth pullin' dong 🎶

[–] Elkot@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Your mom been on Amazon again?

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 3 points 2 months ago

Found moist critical's lemmy account

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