this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 35 minutes ago
[–] ProteanG6777@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 4 hours ago

Leaning towards Cardinal Pietro Parolin - Cardinal secretary of state.

[–] reactionality@lemmy.sdf.org -2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Fuck off with that Danny devito crap. No one but Americans like that dude, and you've seen how utterly brain-dead America is.

[–] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Damn I've never seen a Danny Devito hater. Welp I hope one day you are able to experience the joy of his Holiness Danny Devito the Pope.

[–] reactionality@lemmy.sdf.org -4 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Love it that you dumb down other people's arguments to your level, and simplistically call anyone's stance "lover/hater" because your brain can't fucking comprehend anything beyond black and white.

Sure proved you're American though.

[–] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

My apologies for reducing your opinion to "hater". May I inquire into the reason you have such strong feelings for Mr Devito? It appears it may be related to his being American. Would it effect your opinion of him if I told you he isn't actually American? He was born in New Jersey, which to many isn't really part of America, more of an unwanted growth of New York.

I know I have offended you and for that I apologize. However, I will not leave your person attacks unanswered. I will have you know my ocular spheres transmit to my brain a far larger number of colors. I would safetly estimate I can comprehend as near as 3 colors! Maybe more!

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 27 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.

[–] Agosagror@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Be male Be a roman catholic Get enough cardinals to vote for you

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 14 points 16 hours ago

So you're saying Luigi has a chance?

[–] Freshparsnip@lemm.ee 4 points 14 hours ago

I'd vote for him

[–] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago

Dang I might have to change my vote

[–] missingno@fedia.io 19 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

I think we should reelect Francis.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 hours ago

No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.

[–] ERROR_100_000_100@infosec.pub 14 points 21 hours ago

I hereby crown/appoint Rowan Atkinson as Pope Johnny.

May his Beanliness 🫘 last forever.

Related

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 12 hours ago

420 Blaze It

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 21 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago

Accountability.

[–] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 27 points 1 day ago

Vermin Supreme.

[–] zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 12 hours ago
[–] victorz@lemmy.world 9 points 20 hours ago

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sobanto@feddit.org 2 points 5 hours ago

I see what you did there.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'm votin' fer yours truly. I'd make a kick-ass pope. 😤

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and vote for you.

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 16 points 1 day ago

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.

So it's J D Vance.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.

[–] CaptainPedantic@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Resurrected harambe

[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 13 points 1 day ago

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago

Adam Savage

[–] Lembot_0002@lemm.ee 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I heard he was there to kill him. Hence his death shortly after.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 6 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

All the pope had to do to live was say thank you, but he didn't.

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[–] Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican

theme song

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.

The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.

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[–] kubok@fedia.io 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] nylo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] kubok@fedia.io 1 points 10 hours ago

Well he did defeat Mecha Streisand.

Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"You're the pope?? I didn't vote for you..."

  • Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said "Not everything quoted on the internet is real"

Honestly I don't care (well, beyond making this ~~pope~~ post), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term "agnostic" to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.

As for the pope. Well, he's... there.. well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I'll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he'll be there again.

Beyond that, he doesn't affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he's gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I'll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I'm sure it'll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.

But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.

[–] Hermit_Lailoken@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

I am nominating myself, being as I am a Discordian Pope.

[–] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
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Bill Burr would be pretty funny I think

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