Because the pope deadnamed him.
James Donald Bowman is a massive cuck and deserves to be reminded off his biological father for as long as people in the USA can't choose which gender they prefer.
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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JD Vance just existed
The pope died of cringe from experiencing Vance's presence.
JD didn't do it on purpose. The most reasonable answer is the Pope accidentally walked on JD in a tender moment with a loveseat. The Pontiff laughed himself to death.
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Vance is too stupid to kill him, he'd fuck it up for sure. Did you see him drop Ohio State's trophy the other day? The guy is a total fuck up. He'd end up putting the Iocaine Powder in his own tea.
Nah, it was someone in his entourage that did it.
Did you see him drop Ohio State’s trophy the other day?
Maybe he dropped the Pope?
He had his eye on a really nice couch in the lobby.
Imagine a couch. Comfortable. Soft. Now imagine it can move you around wherever you want to go. Imagine it is surrounded by bullet-proof glass to keep you safe, but also so you can enjoy adoration from millions of people without even having to get up.
Well, it exists, but it's one-of-a-kind, it can only have one owner, and it's currently spoken-for. What do you do?
Vance killing the Pope in order to get a chance at fucking the Pope-mobile is my new favorite head cannon.
The Pope cried out “take me JC!”
Unfortunately his right hand man is a bit hard of hearing, and let JD into the room…
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I don't think it was on purpose the Pope was just too frail to be in the same room as that much cringe. Frankly it was irresponsible of them to allow Vance anywhere near him.
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The pope asked the Trump administration to be kind to immigrants and the poor. Can't have talk like that from the church.
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Vance saw this sexy ass chair And he just had to fuck it. I had to get down and dirty with that fancy seat. The pope tried to get in his way.
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The flu of America*
Tap for spoiler
*Formerly known as influenza or Spanish Flu.
Realistically, no, but I still think it should be said frequently with sincerity.
Vance took off his human mask and showed the pope what a demon looks like.
Vance killed him because the Pope didn't own a suit
Death by cringe
Sure didn't see this one coming, ironically. Before the pope had passed away I commented this on another post.
Bet the poor Pope couldn't even attend because in addition to his health issues he must have felt the evil pressure oozing from Vance.
Welp, poor Francis. He was a good one, and difficult to replace especially in these uncertain times.
The silver lining is that he really made his last big act in life to admonish Vance, and by extension the Trump admin, about their wrongdoing. He has my gratitude for that.
JD got over excited by how the pontiff choose to couch his words.
Because Biden is catholic
Pope met the antichrist and said I'm outta here.
I THOUGHT this was FAKE NEWS but I'm seeing it All Over Facebook so it MUST be True that JD Vance KILLED the Pope!
-Republicans who Do Their Own Research and STILL Love Trump!
Jealousy.
The pope told JD that no one in the tRump regime, or any other self-proclaimed christian in the USA was anything near being a christian. Per Matthew 25:40-45
Probably not because the Pope didn't say thank you. Zelensky is still alive. He probably didn't say please as well.
Fancy papal couches that were unfuckable.
He thought it was the seat of Catholic power and was driven to a frenzy.
Same reason Liz Truss killed the Queen
Talking to sex pest Jimmy Dilbert Vance is so exhausting it takes 10 years off your life, the Pope didn't have 10 years left.
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As a vampire, he has to drink the blood of a pontif to remain a daywalker.
He should now sparkle in the sun for another...6-8 weeks before needing to feed again.
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