General rules:
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
Looks funny with a green hose and a yellow nozzle but a lot of bidet tools are just a spray nozzle on a (usually white-ish) hose. The nozzle is more of the kitchen sink variety but it's really not that different.
The real problem with this setup is the hose and nozzle are under the seat! No reason for that... Just keep it off to the side.
TL;DR: This setup will work fine. Maybe use a light touch on that handle though π
A lot of people in the west are accustomed to the kind you install under your toilet seat, but I was surprised to see the kitchen sink thing everywhere when I was in SE Asia.
I prefer the kitchen sink ones. I've never accidentally gotten all wet from one of those like I have with the fancy toilet seat ones.
I never understood how to use the nozzle bidets properly. What angle do you shoot from?
Nobody shares their bidet secrets. It's so hard to research before buying one.
Anywho, I use my bidet in the shower.
I have a handheld that I fill at the sink with warm or slightly cool water.
I've got female parts so I angle from the front between my legs, so that everything flows front to back and then down.
I change the angle and shift a bit to get the backend bits so it doesn't splatter the front bits.
The handheld bidet water stream is more like a water pick than a shower sprayer, so you can be pretty exact with this one.
Personally, I lean forward and to the left, so that my cheeks spread, and then I take the nozzle into my right hand and hold it as if I was scratching my ass.
Afterwards, I fold two sheets of toilet paper and dry myself off at the surface.
THESE ARE SECRETS BIDET USERS SHOULD NOT DISCLOSE
(although I think I do the same lean to the left mainly because the hose is connected to the right side)
If you have balls, doesnβt the water drip onto your balls? Or down the inside of your legs?
I'd rather have slightly moist balls than a shitty ass tbh. And that's why you have an arsetowel, to dry yourself off. That or spending a lot on paper.
Yes, but it would be ass water dripping on your balls.
You can pull them up and forward. Safely out of the spray zone and free from drips
No it's not. It's the same water you get in the shower.
The angle is such that the balls are only tangentially related to the business and may get wet because you gave the nozzle a bit too strong a squeeze and there's generally spray everywhere anyway.
You have a nozzle with unlimited water coming out of it. Even if it was directly shitwater, it won't be after the first two seconds since the clean water has rinsed everything.
But basically your arsehole is at the furthest edge anyway so usually there's no need to towel or paperdry the balls or the taint at all, as the water comes in an angle that then doesn't end up touching the balls.
It doesn't, no. If you do it the way I described, you can't actually get the nozzle at an angle where you could target your balls or legs. It's not as low down as the beam from the built-in bidets.
On the first few attempts, you'll probably hit your cheeks more than you'd like, but that just rolls down the cheek until it hangs vertically and then it drops. I'm still seated when I do this, so my legs are more-or-less horizontal.
And well, with a tiny bit of practice, you hit the in-between every time, where the water is stopped pretty effectively and then it drops in the same place where you dropped the nuke.
I can understand the concern, as I had the same when I first tried it, but yeah, after the first few days of learning, I never splooshed the floor or my legs or my balls. I think, I splooshed my cheeks maybe once or twice when I was really sleepy, but that's about it.
it's a bonus, if the balls got splashback on them or dipped into the water (happens to me quite often unfortunately) they can get a rinse.
That hose and nozzle cost more than a cheap bidet.
Cheaper than the free nozzle and hose, that have been rotting in the back of the shed for the past 2 years? I don't think so.
An expensive bidet is cheaper than the water damage that will inevitably result after having rotting hose that is always under pressure and running through the house.
A real bidet is well worth a modest investment if you have the cash to spare, but this could work too.
I would just suggest rubber-banding the sprayer into the βonβ position and keeping a kink in the hose easily reachable in front of the toilet. That way, you can simply unkink the hose to spray and rekink it when youβre done. No need to reach down under the dirty bits just to activate it.
Kinky.
That's some peak landlord energy, I love it!
In Taiwan, the older bathrooms have something similar to this but on the side. It has enough pressure to put out fires and please women.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-Silver-Stainless-Steel-Handheld-Bidet-Sprayer-Set-for-Personal-Hygiene/5492494282?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&selectedOfferId=A7988F8E822636B5BF7E36251372780F&conditionGroupCode=1&gQT=1 I have one (not this model but it wasn't much more) on my toilet and I can highly recommend it. Saves a lot of money on TP.
I should start stressing out
This isn't efficiency. This is a fetish. Bro is power washing his lower intestines.
Ok, you poke fun but there are public bathrooms in Italy that have a hose and nozzle just like this near the toilet so you can rinse.
it's elite as fuck tbh compared to unwashed American buttholes
If people don't know already, bidets are fairly cheap and easy to setup. And they will pay for themselves quickly by not having to use nearly as much, or any, toilet paper. I highly recommend. We installed them on both of our bathrooms and it is such a quality of life improvement
I bought a cheap $30 bidet during the pandemic. It was an awful experience. Told everyone how overrated bidets were.
Then last year, I decided to try again, but this was a top shelf fancy $300 bidet. My god, it was like night and day. My butthole never felt so pristine.
If you hate bidets, look at the more higher end ones.
By the by, pristine is commonly used to mean "perfect spotless/like new/cherry" but actually means more like untouched/never cleaned/left alone/original state.
This fact brought to you by my ADHD! Byeeeeeeee!
The hero we needed.
Hmm, personally I'm using a $20 manually operated travel bidet and my butthole feels like freshly showered.
I guess, the advantage of it being manually operated is that I can decide the water pressure by how strongly I squeeze the bottle.
Another advantage is that I have a firm handshake now. π
I bought a cheap $30 bidet during the pandemic.
Same, but I'm actually pretty happy with mine. π€·
A pain in the ass, on use.
Set the handle under the seat so it is pressure activated.
I prefer to finish pooping before receiving a high velocity enema
Sometimes it pushes it back up for another day or two.
Why do you hate efficiency?
I ain't no expert, but I would rather have a normal poop release than a two-day-drier, rock hard, anus ripper
Look at this person living the high life full of privileges where they can poop everyday regularly.
Those are my favorite.
Username does not check out (this time at least)
But if you wait until after you don't even need an enema
Followed instructions, now I speak in water.
You can buy a shattaf (bidet sprayer) for like $20.
Shattaf uck up.
Spray that cooch!
Auto shutoff when you fall off.
Solid design.